When I was the age my toddler is now, my mum signed me up to ballet lessons. I loved them.
Ballet was a big part of our Saturday morning routine throughout my childhood. The walk along the leafy Bristol streets, hand in hand with my mum, chattering away. The smell of new ballet shoes and the excitement of visiting the dance shop with all its multi-coloured tutus. Sitting in a freezing church hall practising “good toes, naughty toes” before getting onto the fun stuff – the jumps and the routines.
Parenthood has a habit of bringing all the best bits of our own early years into sharp focus. I can still hear the rip as my friend shredded my pink tutu, made lovingly by my mum, during one of the many shows we put on for the adults (who were probably incredibly bored at the time but did a great job of hiding it). I can still feel the scratchy net, deliciously puffy and rigid against my skin, as I proudly pointed my toes and imagined myself the lead role in Swan Lake.
As I got older, dance continued to be a big part of my life.
I gave up ballet for a while and started jazz. I joined a contemporary dance group and rehearsed for hours during weekends. I danced and danced and danced.
And then I stopped.
It was around the time I had to make my decisions about which subjects to continue with at A’Level. I chose not to take up dance and to focus on the other things I loved – writing and journalism. And just like that, those early Saturday mornings and scratchy lycra and freezing cold church halls were gone.
But I remember them fondly.
So it was with a sense of regret I listened to the words of my toddler’s physiotherapist recently. “As she grows up, it’s a good idea to encourage her to take part in sports like swimming and cycling,” she said. “Although her flexible joints are likely to make her quite good at things like ballet, those kinds of activities might place too much stress on them and cause her pain.”
Instantly, the idea of walking hand in hand with my own daughter to ballet lessons, watching her line up alongside the other children to perform “good toes, naughty toes”, tying her hair back into a bun with grips and hair nets… all those images went out of the window.
The thing is, I’m aware Frog might not even like ballet. She loves swimming and reading and music. She loves drawing and digging for worms and jumping in puddles. She loves the same kinds of things most two year olds do. It’s not like she’s pirouetting round the living room or performing arabesques across the garden.
But one day she might. One day she might turn to me and say, “Mummy, can I do ballet?”
And I’m not quite sure what I’ll say to that.
Perhaps her hypermobile joints might not cause her discomfort, in which case ballet – or any kind of dance – is a possibility. As she’s just a toddler, it’s difficult to predict if her hyperflexibility will hold her back as she grows up or if she’ll catch up with her peers when it comes to physical milestones. After all, she’s only been walking a couple of months and she’s already running and jumping.
It’s an unknown, like most things parenting related.
For now though, I think we’ll content ourselves with just wearing the tutu. And reading in it. And spilling baked beans on it. And pretty much never taking it off.
After all, the tutu’s the most important bit about ballet. Right?
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This post has been written for this week’s Gallery, where the theme is Sport. Head over to Sticky Fingers to read the rest.
I like her litle ballet dancer feet the best! such beautiful tootsies!
and…
when can I borrow the dress?
XX
I did ballet for 8 years, but it was very strict, no tutus involved, though I have kept my block shoes with pride! Your little Frog looks gorgeous in her tutu, and hopefully she can enjoy it just for the dressing up part, for now at least. Even my special girl attended a hip hop dance class in her walker as part of a 16th birthday party and the teacher made sure that she was in the centre of everything š
Sounds like a lovely teacher! And you’re right – the dressing up part is the fun bit!
I used to do ballet and tap when I was little too and have always just assumed that Iyla would do it but I am also going to wait and see if se has any interest in it, at the moment I can see her wanting to put some overalls on and get covered in oil whilst helping Dad2BabyInsomniac work on cars! Frog does look very cute in tutu though! X
Love this blog, Molly. Did make me cry just a little bit though š xx
Such a moving post and look how beautiful she is. Reminded me of my childhood doing ballet (I was pretty naughty in class so was always out of step when it came to shows!) I think you have totally the right attitude and hopefully she won’t have pain and can pursue ballet if she wishes-sounds like she is a super intelligent, active and most importantly happy girl anyway. Big hugs xx
You’re SO right. She IS happy. And that, ultimately, is all that matters. x
Soooo cute! I’m in 2 minds about Matilda wanting to do ballet, but have no doubt her mum and aunties will at least get her a tutu at some point š I want to take her fishing, something we all did with my dad and such fun seeing all the wildlife and maybe catching a monster or 2.
Hope she takes to the fishing better than I did. My dad’s a keen fisherman and tried (in vain) to capture an interest among my sister and I. The thought of maggots and smelly fish didn’t appeal to our childlike, girly (wimpish) sensibilities. As revenge, he used to keep his bait in the fridge. On more than one occasion I almost grabbed for a ball of cat food or a fistful of dead maggots after a busy day at school!
Gorgeous photos. Your memories of ballet are very different to mine. I recall my mother’s fury as I tried each week to get out of going and my own disgust as I was made to be a fairy doing the housework. Hopefully, as time goes on your daughter’s joints will grow stronger and maybe opinion will decide she can do it. You may have to rule out a future at the Royal Ballet School, but I Shouldn’t think infant ballet is very taxing. PS swimming is much more fun!
You’re right – swimming is VERY fun. And infant ballet is probably more about running around a hall in a leotard than anything else. And you never know, she may choose a hobby like rugby or something instead. Mind you, I’m not sure what the physio would make of that!
I had severe hypermobility as a child, I didn’t walk til 2 and a half, and even now have very flexible hips.
I have been very lucky and escaped the pain often associated with hypermobility.
Now this was back in *ahem* 1977, but mum was advised to sign me up for ballet, to help me with my hypermobility!
I enjoyed my classes when I was little, and I think it did help improve my balance.
Many many people have joint hypermobility but much less have HMS or Ehlers-Danlos. If she’s keen I would encourage her to try, and if she doesn’t like it, pull her out and try something else.
The other thing that helped me as an adult was martial arts, that helps to make the most of the flexibility and to celebrate it. There are positives about being hypermobile not just negatives.
Couldn’t agree more. Swimming really helps her – and when she’s a bit more sure-footed we’ll get her a balance bike. In terms of things like ballet though, we’ll just have to wait a couple of years to see a) what she WANTS to do and b) what she can manage to do. Everything seems to be about waiting now. But it’s fine, because so far she’s surprised everyone and outdone herself. She’s a determined little thing, so if she wants to do ballet or dance when she gets older, I’m sure she’ll find a way!
I know what I’ll make little madam for Christmas now! She looks gorgeous. In the future, trips to the Ballet? You might want to tag along. Love ma x
I would definitely tag along! We could have a girls day out. And yes to the Christmas outfit – she won’t take this one off now! x
I know what I’ll make little madam for Christmas now! She looks gorgeous. In the future trips to the Ballet? You might want to tag along. Love ma x
My 4 year old son has just been diagnosed with HS today, and bizarrely I’m sad that he’ll never get to do ballet! He has tried gymnastics, and hated it!
Future Olympic swimmer then?!
Oh, yes, that was my childhood, too; I did ballet from age three to 18 and absolutely adored it although I was only ever passably good, and never would have fulfilled my Royal Ballet ambitions (although I still tell myself that I *could* have done it, had a broken leg age six not set me back… As if!). DH is vehemently against The Baby doing ballet as he says I still walk like a frog, 15 years since I last danced, but I don’t think he has much say in the matter. Frog looks beautiful in her tutu.
Ah, thank you. I’m sure if The Baby wants to do ballet your DH won’t have much choice in the matter! Got to say, watching Black Swan made me rather pleased I hung up my ballet shoes though…
I never did ballet. Look how I turned out?
I think you too could have such fun on your bikes together – cross country, chatting away.
Swimming – syncro? Mother and daughter duo.
Mother and daughter syncro team. Now there’s a thought!
I always wanted to try Ballroom and Latin – how exciting! At the moment, we’re told to encourage sports like swimming and cycling but stay away from dance and running and other high impact activities. Ironically, F’s flexibility means she’d probably be quite good at ballet. The thing is, we won’t know if it’ll cause her pain until she’s a bit older, when she can tell us – and even then we’re told pain often comes in waves as children grow. I think the physio’s concern is that we introduce her to ballet (or whatever), she loves it, it hurts her, and then she doesn’t want to give it up. We shall see…
I never did ballet but my elder sister did and my friends and I got a LOT of use out of her tutus. Oh the giggles we had. So, yes, I would totally agree that the tutus are the most important bit! What a lovely, evocative post and gorgeous photos.
Thank you – I think I’ll print these photos off. Her first time in a tutu – and she wouldn’t take it off. These times are what memories are made of. Wish I’d got a pic of her in the tutu, covered in baked beans too!
Is it all forms of dance that are out of the question or just very stressful ones like ballet? When my daughter is a little older (I’ve been advised about 6 years old) she is going to start Ballroom and Latin. I did these when I was younger and really loved them.