Comments on: The child who won’t sleep

By: Molly

Molly — Mon, 16 Jun 2014 21:40:30 +0000

I love the silent ninja image! I agree – I’m inclined to think our sleep issues are down to a “phase”, especially as they don’t always happen every single night. It’s so hard to know what to do for the best, but I’m focused on trying to do what feels right at the time. Hope you get some sleep soon too! xx

By: Clio

Clio — Mon, 16 Jun 2014 19:11:21 +0000

I’m writing this in the dark next to my 2-year-old son who is snoring away – I’m biding my time before I can sneak away, like a silent ninja.

Five days ago I wouldn’t have believed this possible. After a year of crippling sleep deprivation, he finally got the hang of sleep and has been a big fan ever since.

Until now, suddenly, completely out of the blue, he’s pleading we stay in the room with him, hold his hand or sing, or ‘mummy bed’. Then he wakes about 3 times in the night and is up at 5am.

Funnily enough I’m 35 weeks pregnant, and I just wondered if it is linked. I really think he can sense change ahead. I’ve been distracted and stressed recently too – trying to squeeze in extra freelance into hours that don’t exist and panicking about all the ‘jobs’ I need to do before our newborn arrives. He must sense it. Maybe he’s as terrified as I am!!

I don’t have to heart to leave him to cry it out – why would he go from being a happy, relaxed sleeper to suddenly wanting to manipulate us? I just can’t believe he has it in him. In my mind, he’s feeling anxious and therefore he needs me. But hey ho – we’ll see how we go and how long I can cope with the lack of sleep! In the meantime, I shall tap away in the semi-darkness, humming Postman Pat.

Fingers crossed this is just a phase. I wish you luck and hope sleep comes soon x

By: Charlotte

Charlotte — Sun, 15 Jun 2014 22:42:15 +0000

Snap! I have a four-year-old who has started waking every night around 12-2am due to nightmares where dinosaurs are after him (and I thought that trip to the Natural History Museum was educational). For a few weeks he crept into our bed for the rest of the night, but the lack of sleep (for me) became unbearable – and the deal now is that we have a mattress made up on the floor in our room – he has to start the night in his own room (because I don’t want to creep around my own room at bedtime), but can shift into our room anytime he likes. This is not meant as advice – just an example of what we’re doing to ensure that everyone gets as much sleep as possible and feels safe and secure. The baby (of course) sleeps soundly through the whole thing every single night!

By: Chantelle

Chantelle — Sun, 15 Jun 2014 16:50:48 +0000

Just to let you know it does pass my child started waking up through the night at about 3 years old after her being the perfect baby and toddler at sleeping. When I asked for advice I got is she hungry no she is fed well, we’ll is something making her upset not that I know of and she is always with me so I think I should know. When she was waking in the night I would catch her in the bathroom, in the art sets trying to paint and in the kitchen one day. So I had to put locks on all the doors because I was scared I wouldn’t hear her one day and she might harm herself and I put a potty in her room in case she needed the toilet. She is nearly 6 now and has started sleeping through again there is the odd night she will wake up but most nights are fine but now my 4 year old has started it but she just plays in her room or gets a book out. I’m just hoping it doesn’t take her 3 years to grow out of it too because by then my youngest child will turn 3 or I will have 9 years of it lol.

By: Jo

Jo — Sun, 15 Jun 2014 15:11:57 +0000

This could have been our family last year – me heavily pregnant was too uncomfortable with our 4 year old in the super kingsize bed so put her truckle bed in our room. She insisted she wanted to stay there when the new baby arrived, however on day 1 on hearing the baby cry in the night couldn’t get back to her own room quickly enough!

Sadly, it hasn’t lasted, daughter has perfected the knack of sleeping through baby cries so we usually share our bed with 2 children now although woke this morning to find that husband had relocated to the spare room.

It does seem to relate to being alone – she has always been fine sharing a bedroom with Granny on holiday.

By: Zoe

Zoe — Sat, 14 Jun 2014 13:02:16 +0000

My daughter is two, she had a brief patch of sleeping through the night between 9 and 16 weeks. Health visitors thought this couldn’t possibly be healthy and suggested waking her for a feed at about 2am. So I was setting alarms and feeding her while she was mostly asleep. Now the same health visitors are shocked and appalled that she wakes between 11pm and 2am, horrified that she gets into bed with us and determined to fix this ‘problem’
OK, I sometimes think that, like you say, she has this alarm clock that wakes her at that time because she’s used to it. But aside from leaving her to scream and wail at the child gate, there is nothing to do but get up, go in, sit on the floor and flop my boob onto her pillow. Sometimes it’s half an hour, sometimes it’s two minutes and sometimes I just can’t and she squeezes in with us.
From what I’ve seen of adults I am pretty sure this will not continue into her teens, despite the assurances of my mother/mother in law.

I have decided to save up for a king size bed.

By: Caroline

Caroline — Fri, 13 Jun 2014 11:09:56 +0000

I wanted to laugh when I read about the ‘good’ baby question! I was never asked that – but if I had been I would have innocently asked what the definition was (and would assume they were not a parent!).
Every child is unique and every parent/child combination is unique – it is no-one’s fault all we can do is think things through, listen to other people’s experience and decide on what to do for ourselves – suck it and see.
As a FT working Mum from 41/2 months bedtime was not an issue – we enjoyed each other’s company as long as they were awake and nothing was fixed timewise.
Personally I would always take anxiety very seriously. Has anything triggered this do you think? e.g. starting nursery or a change in her day to day routine? Has something frightened her? If ever mine ‘got clingy’ I would sort of overdo it and soon they would be pushing me away to get on with things. At night this is different though – one loved being hot under the duvet the other hated being hot and was in a Moses basket by the second night at home.
My mother was a health visitor and would tell me that anxiety in a young child should never be taken for manipulation but accepted. Perhaps cuddling up over a book or cartoon programme/film would fulfil this need for reassuring closeness?
Hope these thoughts help – trust your instinct!

By: Molly

Molly — Thu, 12 Jun 2014 21:25:19 +0000

Cherry sounds very similar to F – F will often try to have full blown conversations with me about things in the middle of the night! I usually pretend to be asleep and that soon makes her get bored and fall back to sleep eventually. Still, it’s blooming exhausting!

By: Molly

Molly — Thu, 12 Jun 2014 21:24:16 +0000

I think they all grow out of it eventually. That’s what I’m hoping anyway! x

By: Molly

Molly — Thu, 12 Jun 2014 21:22:51 +0000

Kids are unpredictable aren’t they?! Mind you, if I thought there was a cow in my room I’m not sure I’d sleep too well either! x