Comments on: How do you define “team player” as a parent?

By: Middle-aged Matron

Middle-aged Matron — Tue, 22 Oct 2013 08:51:17 +0000

I have a husband who works from home but six days a week and often 12 hours a day. So it’s always been a given that I do the child-rearing and what passes for housework round my work schedules. Probably I spoil him, but it keeps him happy and biddable. He redeems himself, though, by his superb chef skills.

By: Molly

Molly — Fri, 18 Oct 2013 10:07:05 +0000

It’s so hard to get the balance right. I expect it’s a constantly changing pattern too, as families needs evolve so quickly and roles are changing all the time. Hope you work it out – if you find the answer to longterm success do let me know!

By: Molly

Molly — Fri, 18 Oct 2013 10:05:29 +0000

Wow – sounds you like have it down to a tee!

By: Molly

Molly — Fri, 18 Oct 2013 10:03:55 +0000

Your weekends sound very busy! I’m never going to moan about busy weekends again. It’s interesting to see how other families work – seems like you have it sorted. We need a dishwasher!

By: HELEN

HELEN — Thu, 17 Oct 2013 20:47:05 +0000

although I do moan about my OH our team does work well. We don’t often do things together as a family as the children are older & have different activities going on over the weekend but we know where we are – On a Saturday I do 2 swimming classes whilst he does the football training, on a Sunday he does another football training & football match. I do all the cooking & shopping, washing & cleaning (ahem) & he does the ironing & dishwasher emptying.

It sounds to me that your team is working well & the NLM appreciates that your job is important too and you need quiet time to be able to work.

By: Jen Walshaw

Jen Walshaw — Thu, 17 Oct 2013 18:50:27 +0000

We have defined jobs, but we are a partnership. I just know I have to ask D to do something and he will. I have a chalk wall and I just add it on there and he does it and ticks it off. He does the things I hate such as emptying the dishwasher, the bins, the decorating, bathing the boys and football practice!

By: Kate W

Kate W — Thu, 17 Oct 2013 15:08:31 +0000

At the minute, our “Team” is basically Himself earning the money to keep the roof over our heads and food in our tummies and me doing……well, EVERTHING else!!! I cook, I clean, I wash (clothes, myself & 3 small Girls), I help with homework, fill in forms, do the school/ballet run, put people to bed and get them up again all whilst trying to get a small business off the ground!!
Sometimes I feel unappreciated, but most of the time I’m too busy or too tired to stop and think about it……my hope is that in 12 months, when Small is finally at school with her Sisters, things might “even out” a bit more and we might be able to spread the load a bit more evenly – the problem is that Himselfs job is such that the hours are long and pretty spread out across the South of the country……We make it work and he does what he can, when he can but it’s far from perfect!!

By: 76 sunflowers

76 sunflowers — Thu, 17 Oct 2013 13:36:02 +0000

Thank you, a great post that pretty much hits the nail on the head for so many of us. We go round in circles with ‘teamwork’ with the term bandied around in arguments over who is doing more, less, not enough etc. It gets used when somebody wants my help – ‘we’re supposed to be a team’ but gets forgotten when that same somebody disappears off the radar at the bedtime routine. Changes in our work patterns and finances have impacted both of us and we have both had to make changes with what we do around the house and with the children. Frustratingly some further afield family members see this shift in roles as wrong – but that’s a whole other discussion! x