Comments on: Elf on the Shelf – another win for Mother Guilt?

By: Carole

Carole — Sat, 14 Dec 2013 17:22:40 +0000

We absolutely love our Elf! And we have not used him as a threat that Santa won’t come. Yes, the kids think that the Elf is watching their behavior but, more than anything, the Elf makes them smile. My little morning grumpster jumps out of bed and runs to his sister’s room so they can find the Elf and see what he has been up to. The first year the Elf arrived, I’ll admit that it felt like work. I woke up a few mornings in a panic because I’d forgotten to move him. But last year and this one have been so much fun! I’ve just let my imagination go with it and created all kinds of silly and sweet little scenes. If that makes me an OAM, then so be it. I know lots of people who find the Elves creepy, and I think that’s OK. It’s not for everyone. We all make our own choices, with no pressure to take on those of others. While I may have spent an hour gluing packing peanuts to a milk jug to make an Elf igloo, other moms were doing the laundry and some much needed cleaning… my house is dust bunny city right now, and I’m OK for these few weeks of Elf time. I’m building lego houses for an Elf, while many other moms are doing all the scrumptious holiday baking which I can’t even attempt for fear of burning down the house. So, no, I am not doing it all, and certainly not doing it anywhere close to perfectly. I’m just making a different choice.

I’d be throat punched too, for sure, it seems. For me, that sentiment is incredibly sad and a bit hurtful. Why judge what brings joy to another… why judge them, and why judge yourself if you make a different choice? I can assure you that I’m not thinking of anyone but my kiddos when I bring the Elf to life in a new way. And I enjoy the Elf as much as they do. After losing my brother in a horrific accident on Christmas Eve a few years ago, it helps to have this sweet, silly little face smiling at us and providing such a joyful distraction during a very painful time of year. This is likely the last year my kids will believe in Santa and the Elf, and I am milking it for all it is worth.

I do agree that moms feel pressure to compete, absolutely no denying it. But you could NEVER be an awful mom (or a better mom or a worse mom) for choosing what is best for YOUR family, whether the Elf or anything else. Merry Christmas to all!

By: Molly

Molly — Wed, 04 Dec 2013 21:25:27 +0000

Great post! Your post echoes my thoughts too. I am a huge fan of Christmas, but I’m not going in for the Elf. Mind you, I’m loving hearing all the stories about what other people do. It just goes to show that not EVERYONE is in it for the elf competition!

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 04 Dec 2013 16:40:49 +0000

No elf in our house. No Christmas tree yet. I love Christmas but I like to pace myself and enjoy a slow build up, then each thing seems all the more special.

By: Rollercoaster Mum

Rollercoaster Mum — Wed, 04 Dec 2013 12:34:30 +0000

When I first heard about him I sort of liked the idea but you know what I’m with you. I constantly feel like an underachieving mum (especially in the blogging fraternity) and this is just another thing. We have a wooden snowman advent calendar with little drawers to fill (that’s more than enough pressure) and he comes out every year. The girls take it in turns to open the drawers so getting 12 little things each (chocs, hairbands, stickers etc). I am not sure whether Bigger Miss still believes it is special fairies that fill it but Little Miss definitely does. The other thing with the Elf is that I actually think it would bring on disbelief quicker as both mine already don’t believe in any of the dressed up Santas (there’s just too many of them) and youngest is only 5. I think Bigger Miss (age 8 1/2) still believes in the ‘real Santa’ but I can’t be sure and I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t believe in a stuffed elf!! Also I work extra hours (5 days a week) all the way through Oct, Nov and Dec in the run up to Xmas and it’s Little Miss’s birthday in a few days so I barely have time to blog and get ready for Christmas as it is.
One more thing for non elfers – I bet if you asked your real life friends and mums at school not into blogging/social media they wouldn’t have a frigging clue about the darned elf so it is just total social media pressure – so bleeeeuughhh to that. I have a real life too. 😉

By: wendy

wendy — Wed, 04 Dec 2013 11:57:00 +0000

Completely with you on this one, as don’t get the whole Elf idea myself! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas and everything that goes with it, but these elves sound ridiculous!
I blogged my thoughts on it last year if you’re interested in having a look… http://castawaywithdreams.wordpress.com/2012/11/16/a-christmas-elf-coming-to-stay-er-no/

By: Elf on The Shelf: The New Mommy Wars?

Elf on The Shelf: The New Mommy Wars? — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 19:59:12 +0000

[…] to every parent’s desire to capture the magic of the holidays. It also invites parents to do it better than everyone else. What’s more, it promises to be great leverage it to make your children […]

By: Aly

Aly — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 11:44:11 +0000

I’m in the no elf camp too.I wrote a Fb status this morning saying I was going to hide all photos from my feed.He genuinely creeps me.I’m writing a post too but it won’t be as wordy and eloquently put as yours though 😉

By: Seasider in the City

Seasider in the City — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 11:31:53 +0000

I had never considered the elf until my 6 year old almost asked me if santa is real – he’s 6, far too early to not believe. So our knitted elf has come to try and make the magic last a few more years.
he isn’t getting up to mischief at all, but my boy has bought into it hook, line & sinker. It’s something we are doing at home and our elf won’t be having his own social media profile.
You make your own traditions and enjoy the time of year however works for your family.
Great post x

By: Tara Cole

Tara Cole — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 11:08:44 +0000

I agree with you here, there seem to be so many new ‘traditions’ this year, involving triple the expenditure and time, as if Christmas isn’t a busy enough time anyway – especially as a mother. My children will have plenty but I will not spoil them because everybody else is.

By: Pols80

Pols80 — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 10:52:52 +0000

I love our Elf. This is her fourth Christmas with us. She’s cute, and not half as freaky looking as the ‘real’ elf. She doesn’t sit on the shelf, not does she report to Santa. Let’s face it – no one is *really* going to leave those lovingly chosen gifts in the attic instead of under the tree just because the elf witnessed some naughtiness, are they? So what’s the point in attempting to bribe them into behaving when the elf isn’t actually going to follow through on her threat to put the little darlings on the naughty list?

Our elf sometimes being gifts. Sometimes she sets tasks (like donating to the food bank, or making a tree decoration), sometimes she does funy things and sometimes she gets up to mischief. It’s a little bit of fun and a little bit magical, and definitely not competitive.

The first year we did it, I only knew a handful of people with elves. They’re obviously breeding from January to November!!