You know how, in life, you meet lots of people but don’t necessarily keep in touch with them all? I’m not on about “Facebook friends” or acquaintances you bump into in the street, I’m on about REAL friends. The ones you’d drive hundreds of miles for. The ones you’d answer your phone to in the middle of the night.
Growing up and going through changes in your life is always a good indication of the resilience of a friendship. I remember being at university and thinking every single friend I made would be one for life. Being a pretty sociable person – out every other night with different groups of people – I had quite a few friends. But I can count on one hand the ones I’m still in touch with now.
The nature of my pre-baby job meant I lived in quite a few different places after I did my first degree – including India. Moving around the country meant I acquired more friends, but also slipped out of touch with some of the old ones. The real friendships remained though. They still remain.
Becoming a mum was another test of those friendships. Suddenly my world revolved around broken sleep and nappies, while my friends continued their everyday lives of going to work and going to the pub. Being the first amongst all my friends to have a baby meant there were times when I was, quite literally, on my own in the motherhood chat. Despite knowing (and, I expect, caring) very little about weaning and breastfeeding, my friends stuck with me. They carried on calling and we carried on travelling around the country, baby in tow, to see each other.
These are the friends I’m lucky to have. I’m still the only one to have kids, although that’s likely to change fast (possibly as I type this – good luck Leanne!), but we still have just as much to talk about as ever before.
Today saw my friend Rachel and her fiance Fraser come to visit. We ate food and drank red wine. We walked by the canal and went for a drink in our local country pub. They played with our little girl and she was smitten.
These are the kinds of friendships worth making an effort over. These are the friendships that aren’t based on how much money you have, how successful you are, how available you are to go out partying with no notice, how good your hair is…. these are the friendships that MATTER.
These are the friendships worth making an effort over.
Frog and Rachel – BFF’s
So true!
We left London a couple if years ago just after we had B but still keep in touch with good friends.
I miss them lots but it’s great catching up after a few months of not seeing them.
This is lovely. Parenthood really does change your friendships – more than I ever imagined! The ones who stick around I think are friends for life.
My Oldest Friend & I are like this!!
She isn’t married but I have been married for 10 years & my Husband loves her almost as much as I do!!
She has no children, but has been there for me through all 3 of my pregnancies (including the 1st one on the otherside of the World!!) & is “Officially” Godmother to the middle One (although counts them all as her charges…..)
Next year we will have been Friends for 20 yrs and are marking this Anniversary with a Girls roadtrip, back to where we 1st met and so we can revisit our teenage haunts!!!
Not sure which of us is most excited……
Oh yes. I have few real friends, but the ones I have are keepers for life. Quality, not quantity!
Lovely post and so true. Like you, have lots of different groups of friends but the closest are have been there through it all, in fact some of my closest friends don’t have children yet we are closer than ever. Testament to our friendship.