Comments on: Why do we put new mums on a probationary period?

By: Circus Queen

Circus Queen — Wed, 29 Jan 2014 23:41:35 +0000

As a new mother you soon learn who to be honest with as well! “If I admit things are hard right now, will this person judge me or listen to me?”

By: expatmammy

expatmammy — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 10:32:12 +0000

We’re all guilty aren’t we, infact I think i did this to my friend this morning *smacks self in face*

By: Purplemum

Purplemum — Wed, 22 Jan 2014 12:36:00 +0000

I remember, as someone with mental health issues, feeling like all the people my life were wondering how on earth I was going to cope with Motherhood. So I totally get this, lets love, help and offer no judgement instead.

By: Mummy Says

Mummy Says — Wed, 22 Jan 2014 07:46:11 +0000

Wonderful post. This definitely goes on, even by those who are well meaning. New mums need so much support, they don’t need to be asked how they’re measuring up against some imaginary yardstick of good mother-ness. Lovely advice. x

By: Mummylimited

Mummylimited — Tue, 21 Jan 2014 21:10:01 +0000

I also do what Alison does and end up putting my kids down! I’m not sure I ever really felt on probation, but this post has made me wonder. I do vividly remember being totally overwhelmed with all sorts of conflicting and well meaning advice and comments when my first was about six weeks old and felt instinctively that I wanted to keep myself away from the world for a few days and just be with him. After I had done that I felt much more able to go with what I thought was right. It was quite a watershed moment.
The other thing that makes me wonder if we/they do this to new Mums is that it was so different the second time around. People just shut up and let you get on with it. Bliss

By: Kate W

Kate W — Tue, 21 Jan 2014 20:32:50 +0000

I count myself lucky that the 1st time I became a Mum, I was on the other side of the world to well meaning family and friends……I was able to flounder my way through the early weeks and months without feeling the need to prove myself or my Mummy abilities!
I always try and help out by doing things I think I’d have found helpful, like cooking/cleaning/washing, and hope desperately that my friends would feel they could admit to me if they weren’t coping, without fear of judgement!

By: Molly

Molly — Tue, 21 Jan 2014 20:08:31 +0000

I’m the same. In fact, I’m sometimes SO over-conscious of what I DON’T want to say that I end up saying nothing at all!

By: Alison Perry

Alison Perry — Tue, 21 Jan 2014 19:57:25 +0000

Great advice, and something I hadn’t really thought of until now. I hate competitive mums, and I sometimes find myself sounding like one by accident. I’ll say something like “Oh she can write her name!” and then I’ll hear myself and cringe, and – rather terribly – I have the urge then to balance this off by saying something negative about her!! Like “Oh, but she doesn’t know her left from her right yet, not like your little one.”
Isn’t that awful?!