The tattered diary
I may have taken dedication to my job too far. And, in another lack of judgment, I may have taken dedication to my blog too far.
I found my old diary, you see. It begins in 1994, aged 11. It’s cringeworthy, to the extreme.
But it’s also a gold mine of content. References to subjects at school, friendships, tiffs with boys, favourite games, crushes, favourite films, favourite clothes… It’s an insight into my actual mind of 18 years ago.
I couldn’t sit on it.
So I took it into work and pitched an idea to my boss. How about I transcribe this diary, word for word – only a tiny bit edited – and we put it on the radio? It might trigger some memories that our listeners can relate to. They might feel sorry for me in my cringey squareness and geekery. They might even find it funny.
Sure, he said. Great idea.
And then our producer had an equally great idea. Let’s get another child to voice it. That way we’ll really get into the mind of a child. But make sure she’s all Drama Queen, otherwise people won’t believe that it was actually written by you.
OK, I said. And then, in my infinite wisdom, I asked if I could share it with the people who read my blog.
Oh, I’m so clever. No, really I am.
Or just very very stupid.
So here it is. The first entry of my diary. Please don’t judge me…
***
If you liked this, you can see more on the Heart website. If it’s not a total flop then I may bring you back the next instalment. It’s up to you – do you want to hear any more?
Oh that’s just brilliant
You’re very brave, but what a great idea. And didn’t the narrator do a wonderful job, too, where did you find her? By the way, I couldn’t agree more about the separate girls school thing…
I wrote a diary between the ages of 13 and 23 until I just woke up one morning and decided it was time to stop. I have chronicled the odd thing since, generally to think it through, just like the old days, really! The hard-backed books I used fill a whole shelf and I do dip into them now and again. I say, ‘dip’, once I start, I know I’m set for the duration. The entries make me laugh, and cry (I had a great childhood but the pages and pages about my boyfriend dying and coping after are quite painful and those about my dad leaving are quite cross but let’s not dwell on that!) – just the way they’re written is priceless. All that teenage slang – everyone/ thing was ‘cushty’ or ‘dordy’ and I had a big dislike for people being ‘mardy’. Wonder if you can work out where that little lot is from…!
Yes! Please Keep posting instalments.
Blimey, it sounds like you had a tough time?! Love the slang though. Never come across “dordy” before – enlighten me?! x
Ok… Newark, near Nottingham. I moved from Northumberland with my cute little geordie accent when I was 10 so, survival of the fittest and all that, had to learn some midlands lingo – and fast. And boy did I!
Brilliant idea! I would cringe too if it were mine, but you have to do it!
Pwhahaha! Just listened to it! I was going to offer GG’s services to voice it, but your girl there is priceless!
Thing is, it’s just the kind of thing we would all have written – I threw mine out it was so embarrassing!
I love it!
My red face is not in vain then?!
more please!
Oh dear.
I think it’s fabulous and what beautifully modulated tones reading it. Wish my daughter spoke like that! I’ve kept a diary without missing a single day since Jan 1983 when I was 13. The weight of my years is now buckling our bookshelves, but I’m so accustomed to recording daily events that I fear that the sense of life’s purpose would unravel without it. Also diaries are a most useful method for keeping ones prejudices in good repair!
I bet there’s some cracking blog material in those beauties!
I wrote a diary once, aged 13 and three quarters. (c 1977/8 ) At the time I was a pupil at Tremough Convent – a miserable little girls school – which as you know is no more and Cornwall’s University Campus stands in its place
Most of the references were about the food. I found it again when I was in my 20s. I remember one entry went something like this: “Tonight we had cheese on toast, but it was so bad that Lizzie called it ‘rubber on bread’.” To think that I thought it was funny enough to record made me cringe so much that I threw it away.
Oh I’d love to hear more – wish you’d have kept it!
No! It was really awful. I was a miserable introspective, spotty, hormonally charged teenager who’d just started having periods. It’s the very worst age to write a diary.
I’m sure mine was the same at that age.
Am I your mother? Did I used to live with you? At last I get to hear what was going on in that brain of yours. The voice – could have been you, don’t forget I still have the old videos! Love ma x
There are certainly some enlightening bits in there!
That is nothing short of gold! A very insightful view on single sex education. Wise beyond your years.
Of course, the REAL reason I didn’t agree with the school was the choice of uniform…
i have boxes of diary’s – so my first comment is: ARE YOU MAD???
Colston girls school may sue.
So might Amber.
you are very brave…..
that child is v. posh.
I may very well be mad. I may very well be regretting it. I may very well have even better content still to come. Shameless.
You should totally turn this into a linky – get everyone to write posts based on their childhood diaries. I think I’ve got about ten years worth of them. An absolute hoot to look back on, but totally mortifying too.
Apparently there are events where people get up on stage and read from their own diaries for ten minutes or so. Like a comedy/performance poetry/self-punishment thing!
Brave old you, well done xx
Oh blimey. Now THAT would be cringeworthy. Love the idea of a linky. Although I fear you’d be the only one to take part!
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