Last week proved to be the biggest test to my marriage yet. Forget childbirth, newborn babies and living without a dishwasher. This was far, far worse.

We battled through it and came out the other side, I’d like to say stronger than before, but that’s debatable. Here are the lessons I learned during the testing period that was our first ever major DIY project together. A period covering four days of blood, sweat and tears. Literally.

1) My husband thinks I am like my mother

It turns out that jumping out of bed at 6.30am with a motivating, “WE CAN DO THIS! COME ON! TEAMWORK!” isn’t the way to inspire my husband. Apparently my irritating early morning chirpiness and enthusiasm for Getting A Job Done is, “Just like my mother”. Not a bad thing if you ask me…

2) Suggesting that my husband is lacking in willpower and determination is not the quickest way to his heart

Comments like, “Come on, we can do this, don’t give up now,” don’t go down well with a grumpy husband who is sick of the sight of his hammer. Even if he’s only two hours into a four day job.

3) The kitchen is no sanctuary when DIY meltdown is in full flow

Wondering aloud if Nick Knowles and co. let their DIY work space become disorganised and messy is a one-way road to Argument City.

4) Washi tape is not a precious commodity in my husband’s eyes

It’s perfectly acceptable to use Washi tape as a marker, bonding material or tool to avoid paint smudges, according to my husband. Any other use for this pretty tape is just frivolous and “airy fairy”. Apparently.

5) My husband would rather write a full set of reports, plan a fortnight’s worth of lessons and teach his most demanding class for a triple period, than sand a floor ever again. Ever. 

It turns out my husband has an undying love of the carpets in all the other rooms in our house and has no wish to lift them and sand another floor. Ever. (“Ever, ever, ever, ever.”)

Can’t wait until the next job: Re-wallpapering the hallway. *Jolly face*

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