It’s no secret that Baby Girl has never been the most reliable customer when it comes to sleep. In fact, she only started sleeping through the night a few months ago and, since holiday, has reverted back to several wake-ups again. Joy.

I could bang on all day about baby sleep (or lack of it) and how it can affect all sorts of things like relationships, mental health and parenting confidence. But rather than share my own thoughts on the subject, today I’m inviting Pampers along to the blog to share an expert insight into the world of baby sleep. Anything that gets a tired parent a few extra minutes of shut-eye is a bonus, as far as I’m concerned.

What Pampers say…

Did you know that babies spend around half their time asleep? Those precious hours aren’t just important for their mood, but they also have a positive impact on their development, too. Which is why we’re so excited that to launch a brand new innovation and upgrade to UK parents’ #1 nappy choice: introducing 3 Absorbing Channels! New Pampers Baby-Dry feature a revolutionary nappy design with 3 Absorbing Channels and unique Micro Pearls™ that distribute wetness more evenly and lock it away for up to 12 hours. With less wet bulk in the morning, so your LO can wake up smiling. And, UK parents agree:

New Pampers Baby-Dry has been recommended by 88% of UK parents *

New Pampers Baby-Dry are also been BritMums Bloggers Approved, Mumsnet Rated, Mother & Baby Tried and Tested and 90% of Netmums mums would recommend New Pampers Baby-Dry.

With New Pampers Baby-Dry working as hard as possible, you’re LO can say goodbye to wet bulky nappies and hello to a dry night’s sleep.

To celebrate the launch of New Pampers Baby-Dry, Pampers are working with baby sleep expert Jo Tantum – who is a member of the Pampers Love, Sleep & Play panel and has 25 years’ experience helping hundreds of families to achieve a peaceful night’s sleep. Jo has identified 5 sleep typologies that may help you to understand your baby’s sleep habits and needs better – so, is your little one a Starfish, Skylark, Sloth, Owl or Meerkat sleeper? Take a look and let us know using #PampersBabyDry.

Starfish

This is when your baby sleeps in the same position, on their back with legs and arms out. They also wake up often and regularly, but they don’t go back to sleep easily after you intervene with a sleep prop – which they need to get to sleep!

Jo’s Tip:

A muslin square, knotted in the middle. Tuck it down your top before giving it to baby so it smells of you and comforts them. Also, try and teach your baby to fall asleep on their own gently. Start in the day, at nap times, watching for tired signs, then settle them for a sleep in their room.

Skylark

These are the babies that wake up early in the morning, singing and shouting, and refuse to go back to sleep whatever you try.

Jo’s Tip:

Wave sounds. This can be a sleep App or sound machine. Keep it on continually while baby is asleep, so when they come into a light sleep phase it soothes them back to sleep. Total blackout is also key – remember that babies can’t tell the time – they don’t know it’s only 5am! If your baby wakes up early, try and respond to them as though it’s still night, rather than creating a habit of early waking.

Sloth

These little ones love sleep and can sleep anywhere and everywhere – lucky you! But what happens when they wake up? You will know it’s going to be for a growth or developmental spurt or they are teething or not well.

Jo’s Tip: Increase feeding time by 5 minutes, if breastfeeding and by 30ml if bottle feeding. If your baby is close to 6 months old, they may need weaning.

Owl

This is when your baby goes to bed late and then wakes up in the night. They’re wide awake for long periods and can’t get back to sleep.

Jo’s Tip: A Sleep Fest! Allow your baby to sleep for 3 hours during the day to reset their internal clock. Babies need lots of sleep and it’s a myth that if you don’t give them naps, they will be so tired that they’ll sleep through the night.

Meerkat

They stand up, move around trying to get comfortable all night and they don’t want to sleep. They’re late to bed and early to rise.

Jo’s Tip: Wind Down Time. Try bath-story- feed to establish a calming bedtime routine. Your baby is overtired and so will thrash around trying to get comfortable just like we do. They will have lots of energy around bedtime and early in the morning, as their bodies and minds are overstimulated.

If you’d like to try New Pampers Baby-Dry, you can visit the website to claim your free sample.

*based on a survey of 790 UK Parents, given the samples in May 2016

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Thanks to Pampers for commissioning this post. For more information about how I work with brands check out my Work With Me page.

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Hello! I’m back in the UK and currently sitting amidst a pile of holiday washing and unpacking while looking out onto my slightly wild garden. I can’t wait to edit all the footage I took in France (despite my earlier thoughts of not vlogging or photographing much of the holiday the inner blogger in me won out and I ended up really enjoying catching snippets of our holiday on film). Before I get to the holiday stuff though, today I want to talk about happiness – specifically, our sounds of happy.

We have a tradition in our house. Every Friday after school during term time we have a “living room disco”. This is like a normal disco, only in the living room and without the disco lights. We’ve done it since forever.

As Baby Girl is now a 22 month old toddling toddler she’s just as much into the disco dancing as her older sister. The two girls dance around the living room throwing shapes and making each other laugh with their crazy moves. This isn’t a recent thing though – even before Baby Girl could walk she loved the tunes. Music – any type of music – makes her happy.

If I had to pinpoint the top five sounds that make my littlest one happy, they would be:

1. The word “Boobie” (she’s definitely still led by her love of milk)
2. Shakira’s Waka Waka song
3. Fart noises (she likes to proclaim “poopie! Poopie!” every after one
4. Lullabies at bedtime (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is her favourite)
5. The sound of the horses in the field opposite our house (she loves animals)

So these would be the sounds that would make my C&G Baby Club Sounds of Happy shortlist. The brand’s Sounds of Happy campaign is a great way to tap into some useful ideas for ways to cheer up a slightly grumpy baby and to kick-start those infectious baby giggles. (You never know, maybe your baby – like mine – will also have huge love for Shakira’s Waka Waka song!)

There’s something hugely rewarding about seeing your baby laugh isn’t there? I can still remember that first baby smile from both of my girls and, later, the development of a gummy smile into a belly-busting roar of a laugh. It’s funny and heart-melting, even at 3am.

I never get tired of finding ways to make my tot lose it with laughter and, as she gets older, she’s proving to be just as adept at finding ways to make us all crack up too. Often it’s a silly face (she does a brilliant Kenneth Williams impression!) or a funny dance move. Again, music is normally the catalyst for such behaviour. As much as her dad rolls his eyes at Shakira, even he can’t begrudge her the song for the millionth time in a row because the way her face lights up when it comes on is so priceless.

Tell me, what would your sounds of happy be? Is there a particular song your baby loves or a noise which is guaranteed to raise a big gummy grin?

**

Disclosure: This is a commissioned post. For more information about how I work with brands check out my Work With Me page.

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When I was a kid I used to love the last week of the summer holidays before school begun. Fully refreshed from a summer in France, I’d sharpen my pencils, colour co-ordinate my highlighters and polish my new school shoes like the little geek that I was. The autumn term stretched out ahead of me with all the promise of a brand new exercise book, its pages pristine and fresh.

Of course, the reality was often a bit of a let-down. It didn’t take long for homework, rainy walks to school and lost pencil sharpeners to dampen my eager spirits. Still, that last week of the school holidays was always one to savour.

Now I’m a mum of two – with one child about to enter her third year in primary school – I sort of feel the same. At this point in the holidays we’re very much on wind-down, but I have no doubt that come the end of August I’ll be feeling just as excited as my six year old about the thought of her going back to school.

This summer M&S is celebrating helping families get ready for back to school for over a century. It’s funny to think how the whole back to school thing has changed over the years. While some things are firmly the same (the excitement of new school shoes, the satisfaction of a blank exercise book) other things have changed beyond all recognition.

This is me a few weeks into the new school term as a Year 4 pupil. I’m nine years old in this picture and my sister’s five. What you can’t see is the Take That necklace I’m sporting. Still – note the trendy 90s turtleneck!

There are some key differences between my own back to school days and my daughter’s. The most obvious one is uniform – or my lack of it. When I went to school in Bristol in the 90s uniform wasn’t a thing. It wasn’t until I got to secondary school that I had to don a pair of black trousers and a rather fetching royal blue jumper. When I tell my six year old this she can’t believe it. “Poor you Mummy, you didn’t get to wear uniform?!” Funnily enough she loves wearing uniform – even the annoying tie – and tells me it makes her feel “smart and grown-up”.

Luckily for her, the M&S school uniform offering manages to strike that delicate balance between comfort and durability. The shirts, for example, are made with a special finish to make stains disappear more easily, while the trousers feature adjustable hems that can be altered without a needle and thread. I also love the crease-free shirts and the fact I don’t need to iron them (I have far better things to do on a Sunday evening than stand in front of an ironing board).

Another big difference between my daughter’s school days and my own is the shoes. I could wear any shoes I liked partly because I didn’t have a uniform to conform to but also because, unlike my daughter, I didn’t need insoles to support little hypermobile feet.

It’s refreshing to finally find a pair of girl’s school shoes that nail the balance between appealing to my six year old girl who loves a bit of pretty (i.e. patent leather) and sturdy enough to withstand plenty of running around and puddle jumping. They have a lovely chunky grip-tastic sole and nice supportive high backs which mean her insoles easily fit inside. High five to M&S for this design.

When I was little I had a huge thing about wearing skirts and dresses. In fact, it was such a “thing” that the only trousers I would happily wear were a pair of pink corduroy dungarees. My mum still likes to remind of this fact today. Frog is similar. She’s much happier in skirts and pinafores, which makes the M&S range so great. There are plenty of different designs to choose from and, luckily for us, many of the skirts feature adjustable waistbands to fit her skinny frame.

As you can see from these photos, Frog was incredibly reluctant to model her new uniform…

While I was happy to let her carry on with her Instagram poses, I also wanted to check the uniform could withstand the paces she was bound to put it through at school. Whether it’s the 90s or today, nothing much changes when it comes to the playground, I reckon.

I grew up in Bristol and very much led the city-slicker lifestyle. This is another difference between my back to school days and my daughter’s. She’s growing up in a rural setting, in a village in Devon. So it’s nice to see the M&S uniform’s hardy enough to put up with country life too.

Ultimately though, nothing much has changed since 1992 and 2016: when asked early on in the summer holidays if she’s looking forward to going back to school this is the face I got:

No amount of amazing school uniform is going to make the classroom seem appealing before September, I guess.

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Thanks to M&S for working with me on this post. For more information about how I work with brands check out my Work With Me page.

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A couple of weeks ago Frog had her 6th birthday party. Unlike the previous two years there wasn’t a huge amount of planning with this one. I didn’t even look at Pinterest, for example. The invitations were hastily made one Sunday afternoon and my mum sorted out the cake. It might have been the lowest key party in terms of prep, but I’m pretty sure it’s the most successful one we’ve ever done.

Rather than hiring a hall we decided to risk the British weather and organised a party at our local beach. We asked parents to drop their kids off at our house and then me, my mum and the NLM drove in convoy in our three cars with a small group of girls and plenty of beach games and food. There were eleven kids in total (nine six year olds and a couple of little sisters – some of the children met us there) and this proved to be the ideal number. There were enough children to do a few organised games but it was a small enough number to verge on the right side of total chaos.

The day before the party I headed to my local bargain store for multi-packs of crisps, biscuits and sweets. On the morning of the party I made a few different types of sandwiches and wraps, packed up some raisins, cut up some fruit and chucked the lot in a big hamper.

We were lucky with the weather. Rain was forecast but it held off and we had bright sunshine in between patches of cloud. It was even warm enough for the girls to get into their cozzies and have a paddle (although most of them ended up soaking wet as they inevitably splashed each other!).

The games were impromptu. We did “Make the Mermaid” and the girls divided themselves into teams, drawing a mermaid in the sand and decorating their creations with seaweed and shells. There was a relay race involving pebbles and a bucket, and my mum (former Drama teacher – handy) organised a game based on some imaginative role play. In between the games the girls broke off into little groups and built sandcastles, paddled in the sea or took turns burying each other in the sand.

After a picnic on the beach we headed home for birthday cake and to hand out the party bags. Rather than fill up a load of little bags with plastic tat we bought some large pencil cases which we repurposed as wash bags. These we filled with a little bottle of bubble bath, a homemade scrunchie (thanks Mum!) and a piece of cake. The girls loved their presents and, again, it was a much simpler way of doing things – especially as we got the wash bags for 89p each from the bargain store!

It couldn’t have been more different to Frog’s party last year – a disco in the village hall that took a good month of planning and plenty of last-minute stress. That party was also a whole lot more expensive too. I’m not saying we won’t do a big party like that again, but this year’s offering was so easy, cheap and stress-free it proved to me that sometimes the simplest things are the best.

Remind me of that come October when I start fretting about Baby Girl’s second birthday.

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Frog turned six today. Six whole years. It’s the oldest parenting cliché in the book but it’s true: the years really do fly by. Anyway, I was going all slushy earlier looking at old baby photos of her and it got me thinking how much I’ve learned and how much I haven’t in the past six years of being a mum.

Seeing as my biggest girl turned six today I thought I’d share some of the six secrets I’ve stumbled upon.

1. The years are short

It honestly feels like a minute ago I was wearing the floorboards thin trying to get this tiny baby to sleep in the early hours of the morning. At the time it feels like it’s going on forever and your life is on pause but, at the risk of sounding like an old person, it really does go by so quickly.

2. Everyone has shit days

Just like all people the world over, parents have shit days too. It’s only, often you don’t see those shit days. New mums especially can tend to want to put a brave face on things for fear of being seen as not coping / not savouring every moment (because they go too fast, see above) etc. But it’s a load of pants. We ALL have bad days, and that’s OK. It’s normal not to love every part of being a mum. Mum life is TOUGH.

3. Kids have the ability to make plastic tat come out of your walls

For every toy you get rid of, ten will take its place. FACT. When they’re babies the plastic tat comes in large, easy to spot form. It’s often brightly coloured and makes a noise – which is handy as it helps you navigate the toy obstacle course across the living room floor. But as your kids grow their toys get more stealthy. The plastic tat shrinks and morphs into potentially painful shapes. Lego on the floor, hama beads stuck between your toys, freebie bits of no-one-knows-what from vastly over-priced kid magazines. No orifice of your house is safe. I believe it stays this way until they become teenagers, at least.

4. Going out gets more fun

The tired old joke about mums going out and falling asleep into their wine has never been true for me. In fact, since I’ve become a mum I don’t think I’ve had a bad night out. The fact my nights out average twice a year probably have something to do with it. Plus, a trip to Tesco’s past 7pm is classed as a night out these days, so to get to an actual pub is a huge bonus. Having babies has done big things for my appreciation of pubs. Even a pub with a sticky floor, a few old men and a knackered old juke box sounds exciting these days.

5. You see your parents in a new light

Of course this isn’t the same for everyone, but one thing I was totally unprepared for when I became a mum was how I’d see my own mum (and dad). Although I was a fully-fledged grown-up with the challenging task of raising a tiny human, I suddenly felt very vulnerable and probably needed my mum more than at any other time in my life since toddlerhood.

6. Everything is a “phase”

“It’s just a phase” has become my go-to explanation for every single crappy parenting dilemma I’ve ever had to face. Tantrums, toilet training issues, sleep (or lack of it) – you name it, it’s a “phase”. It’s a cliché older than the “they grow up so quickly” one, but you know what? It’s TRUE.

(Also: you’re allowed to feel intense annoyance whenever anyone tries to fob you off with this piece of wisdom when all you want is to moan without judgment.)

What parenting secrets have you discovered since becoming a mum or dad?

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I’ve immersed myself in normal today. I helped out at Frog’s school summer fayre, we went to our village pub for tea, I bathed the girls and put them to bed.

As I was breastfeeding Baby Girl (note: pack a breast pump for Sierra Leone in case of Huge Boob issues) I relished the sight of her big blue eyes looking into mine and, for once, didn’t try to hurry along bedtime. It’s going to be the last one in a little while.

Tomorrow I say goodbye to my girls and travel to a hotel at Heathrow. Then, at ridiculous o’clock on Sunday morning I’ll be boarding a plane with blogging bud Annie from Fable and Folk and Kate from World Vision to head to Sierra Leone. We fly to Brussels first, then get a plane from there to Freetown. We arrive in Freetown around 5pm before getting a water taxi, then a car to Bo – around five hours away.

It’s all a bit surreal to be honest. One minute I’m in my safe little bubble in a village in Devon, immersed in mum life, writing pretty features about interiors for glossy magazines and websites, browsing cushions online, then the next I’m in Sierra Leone.

I don’t blame you if you’re rolling your eyes at this post. Yeah, yeah, just another blogger going on a “life changing trip”. Whatever. So you’re a mum? Big deal that you’re leaving your kids for a few days. People do it all the time.

But, for me, this isn’t a normal, everyday occurrence. I’ve never been to Africa. The last big adventurous thing I did was travel to India, Sri Lanka and Thailand on my own 10 years ago. Back then I didn’t have two little girls to say goodbye to, or a husband to miss while I was away. I didn’t think about missed school runs or worry that I’d left enough food in the freezer.

At the school fayre today I was met with well wishes from parent mates and teachers who knew about my trip – anyone who hasn’t heard it from me has been forced to listen all about it from my five year old. I got home to a phone call from my mother in law, text from my parents, and a couple of messages from lovely friends. It all feels a bit more real now. I’m going to Sierra Leone. SHIT, I’m going to SIERRA LEONE!

I felt nervous earlier this evening. I still don’t feel fully prepared – still got to get my dollars from the Bureau de Change and pick up an adapter plug. Still got to get those mini bottles of shampoo and some (apparently highly recommended) baby wipes and chewing gum. My inner Monica has been madly waving her organisation stick and I’ve printed off all my travel documents and put them in a labelled folder. Man, I’m such an effing loser. What a travel noob.

The NLM has been oh-so-laid back about this trip, as per. When we first discussed the possibility of me going he was supportive, admitting that it was probably the last thing he’d want to ever do, but that he understood my own motivations for wanting to go. He’s mainly taken the piss out of me this week. Mimicking my ridiculous last-minute stresses.

But as I write this he’s looking at Google images of Bo in Sierra Leone, watching YouTube videos about the languages spoken in Sierra Leone, and checking distances of places I’ll be travelling on Google maps. He told me he was proud of me and that he’d miss me. As a man of few words, this is a big deal. It would be enough to make me cry, if I wasn’t so bloody sure he’d take the mickey out of that too. (“Ya bloody Jessie. What ya cryin’ for!”)

Over the next couple of weeks I’ll be sharing stories of the amazing work done to rebuild communities since the Ebola crisis. I’m hoping that if you’re reading this you might come back to see what happens on the trip, and hopefully share some of these stories. Whether it’s a share on Facebook, a retweet on Twitter, a comment on an Instagram pic or a little message on Snapchat (I’m mollyjforbes over there) then it will all mean SO MUCH.

If you’re still not sure why I’m going, then read this post I wrote for my girls when they’re old enough to understand.

OK. I think I’m ready now.

Bye. See you from Sierra Leone!

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I’ve always been a trainers kinda gal, but since becoming a mum trainers are even more of a wardrobe staple than ever before. However, the past year or so has seen me flounder in my trainer quest. I think, if I’m honest, I’ve been a bit stuck in a style rut due to general sleep deprivation and all-round chaos of life with two little people. So when the gorgeous clothing site LUX FIX got in touch to see if I’d be interested in putting together an outfit using a piece from their site, I knew what my outfit would be based around: the perfect pair of mum trainers.

My choice? The Flame Jaguar Print Sneaker by Seven Boot Lane. I wanted a pair I could wear on cooler summer days, when my toes needed something more than just Birkentocks or Saltwaters. But then again, I didn’t want to limit my trainers to only summer, so they needed to be made of sturdier stuff than flimsy canvas. And lo, all my trainer dreams came true when I discovered these beauties waiting for me on LUX FIX.

Once I’d made my trainer decision, I started to think about things I could wear with them. It felt fun – if a little frivolous – to be thinking about clothes again. I realised how much I’ve got used to just chucking on whatever’s clean at the end of the bed, instead of taking two minutes to think about what I’m going to feel great in. Call me shallow, but wearing something that looks good can have an instant impact on my mood – thinking about outfits again reminded me of that.

I’ve been wearing these trainers with all sorts of outfits, from skinny jeans to my ripped boyfriends, my denim pinafore dresses to a plain black maxi. But the outfit I love more than any of them at the moment revolves around this pair of red culottes.

I think that may be why these are the ideal mum trainer – they go with just about anything, are incredibly comfortable and can be put on in two seconds flat. This is an important factor to consider when you’ve got a toddler who can move faster than the speed of light.

I’m loving my culottes for those days when the UK weather can’t make up its mind. They’re cool enough for hot days but don’t leave my goose-bumped, untanned legs on show when it gets chilly. Plus, the cut is forgiving enough to mask my post-baby (she’s now 20 months old – how long can I get away with that excuse?!), pre-workout tummy.

Clearly when these photos were taken I was without two small children hanging off me (they’d gone to their grandparents for the day), and I’d made extra effort to avoid any tiny jammy finger marks on my trousers or in my hair. However, the noise of my husband moaning about being roped into taking pictures for a blog post was enough to keep me grounded. But even amidst the reluctant Instagram Husband’s commentary (“Quick! Do a pose! Someone’s coming! This is SO embarrassing!”), the trainers and their corresponding outfit were enough to keep me cheerful.

So thank you LUX FIX, for making me love clothes again.

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Check out the LUX FIX blog for more style inspiration. For more information about how I work with brands, see my Work With Me page.

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I never thought it would happen. Honestly, at one point last year I felt so deranged through lack of sleep I just assumed this would be how I’d feel until my youngest child turned ten or eleven.

Back then, we were co-sleeping. That worked for a while, but one day it didn’t. Baby Girl just woke up in the middle of the night and refused to sleep until we put her in her cot. It was a bit of a relief when she started sleeping in there, as much as I missed her warm little body snuggled into me. I could finally lie on my stomach and spread out. I would sleep deeper for the short stretches of sleep she allowed me, but the wake-ups were still multiple and regular. I was lucky to catch four or five hours of broken sleep a night.

I coped with it in the way that all parents cope with lack of sleep – sporadically. Some days I felt fine and others not so much. At one point last September I wondered if I might be a touch depressed, but then I had a full nights’ sleep and felt fine again.Turned out I was just supremely knackered.

Long term sleep deprivation does that to you – it makes you feel disconnected, flat, mentally drained. I’d flip from feeling happy and content to desperate and panicked. Everything would be coasting along fine and dandy but then something would happen and my reactions would be ridiculously out of proportion. I found myself sobbing over a spilt cup of tea, for example.

The worst thing was the un-asked for advice. There’s a real competitive edge to the whole baby sleep thing. Babies who don’t easily settle by themselves in their cot are not “good babies”. People want to solve the sleep issue and it’s often the first thing you’ll get asked as a new mum. If your bub doesn’t sleep for four hours straight at a time you can feel like you’re doing something wrong. Well, let me tell you new mum – you’re NOT doing anything wrong. Your baby (like many others) just didn’t get the memo.

We’d get periods where Baby Girl would sleep better and we’d kid ourselves we were into a new “phase” (FYI – is “phase” not the most over-used term when it comes to kids?!). Those “phases” lasted a few days and then the normality of multiple wake-ups would resume.

We never got to the bottom of what was waking her. Actually, I think lots of things woke her. Aside from the fact she’s a very light sleeper anyway, Baby Girl also seemed to suffer with teething, silent reflux, developmental milestones, colds, coughs – you name it, she would have it. What woke her one day would not necessarily be the same thing to wake her the next. There really was no rhyme, reason or predictability to any of it.

The irony of the whole situation was that she was a happy, contented, easy going baby (and then toddler) during the day. She’d sleep for a good two or three hours every afternoon and was a breeze to look after in ways her older sister – a fairly brilliant sleeper – never was. Both my girls are SO different.

Anyway, here we are. I’ve waited three weeks to write this post for fear of tempting fate. And I’m fairly sure we’ll probably get an awful night tonight. But still, we’ve had three whole weeks of Baby Girl sleeping for twelve or thirteen hours every night, in her cot. During those three weeks she’s even had a couple of sleepovers at my parents’ house – and she’s slept well there too.

So what did we do differently to provoke this spate of sleep? The answer? Ready for it?

Absolutely nothing.

We’ve stuck with the same bedtime routine (bath, boob, bed) since Baby Girl was tiny – mainly because it’s what we’ve always done with Frog. We’ve always been flexible with our approach to sleep, taking the “whatever works now” approach. I probably tend towards the softie side and could never leave her to cry as a baby, but now she’s a toddler some nights I do leave her to cry – and she’ll settle within about 2 minutes. I can now recognise the difference between a tired grumble and a panicked desperate wail. But still, we’ve never followed any strict “approach” – we’re far more mix and match parents (some nights I’ve even tried getting in her cot with her – those were low points).

Now I’m functioning like a normal human being on a normal amount of sleep I realise how hard sleep deprivation really is. When you’re in the midst of it you don’t really feel put together, as such. Days that followed really bad nights were gotten through in a haze. I felt out of it, with a head full of treacle and a nauseous stomach. I’d gulp down tea and rub my eyes until they burned. I have literally no idea how I managed to string two sentences together of speech, let alone get any work done.

There’s not really a whole lot of point to this post, except to bring some kind of sleep update to this space where I’ve written so extensively in the past on the subject. I’m no sleep expert – I firmly believe no such thing exists – but I’m a mum who’s been through the mill and come out of the other side still (vaguely) intact.

Now I need to find a new excuse to eat cake, I guess.

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You know when it’s sunny in the UK and everyone excitedly rushes outside to hang out their washing, while wearing a pair of shorts and flip-flops? Sometimes motherhood is like that for me. It’s those flashes of delight, moments of sunshine, in between overcast weather or stormy skies. I live for those flashes of delight.

This last weekend was one big old flash of delight. Actually, it was more of a hazy permanent glow. But I know, looking back, it will be one of those sparks I’ll remember when the girls are grown and I’m collecting happy memories of their days as little people.

The sun shone in Devon from Saturday through to Monday, with blue skies and balmy temperatures. I’ve said before that when the weather’s like this it feels like we’re on holiday and I have to pinch myself that this is where we actually live now. Sunshine makes everything better.

The NLM’s parents came down to visit (although their 8 hour journey in hellish bank holiday traffic probably wasn’t so much fun) and we made a special effort to do fun things.  Because of the distance, we don’t get to see them a huge amount, but when we do we always make the most of it.

Saturday was a potter around a local art gallery and high street, with a barbecue thrown in for good measure. While Sunday saw us head to Dartmouth, where we got the ferry across the estuary to Kingswear before hopping on a steam train along the coast and back again. A meal out at the village pub later that evening, and then breakfast out the following day and it felt like all our Instagram-ready family snaps had come at once.

We spent most of yesterday on the beach which is definitely both my girls’ happy place. Baby Girl pottered about paddling and building sand mounds (!) while Frog practised her swimming with me in the sea. As I sat on the beach with the sun on my bare legs and my kids happily playing around me (until the toddler poured a bucket of ice cold water on her sister’s head, obviously) I had one of those intense feelings of contentment. They don’t happen all too often in the busy rush of daily life, when we have to get somewhere on time or I’m attempting to juggle emails with an errant toddler runs amok throughout the house.

But when those flashes of delight do happen, they make the waiting worth it.

Tell me, how was your weekend?

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I was never the cool kid at school. Year 7 hit me like a slap in the face. I had a bad haircut, the wrong accent and a pre-pubescent skin problem. Having been pretty popular throughout primary school, I remember feeling out on a limb in this strange new territory of older kids and cool girls with super-savvy sportswear and an attitude to match.

By contrast to the Reebok Classics and Adidas hoodies I rocked up to school in scuffed DMs and a hippy hat I’d found in a Vintage store. In any other school this might have won me street cred points, but in my school – the one deliberately out of catchment area so I didn’t have to attend the local comp my mum taught in – I was instantly branded a bit of a loser.

I had various nicknames in Year 7. “Little Man” was the one that stuck – given me by a Year 10 who thought my hairstyle looked less like my intended heroine of Justine Frischmann (“off of Elastica”) than the tragic Chesney Hawkes. I scuttled past those Year 10s in the corridors into the safety of my classroom, only to be met by equally scathing comments of some of my less forgiving classmates.

“Have you got a spot of tea?!” They’d joke, mimicking my invisible Bristolian accent while simultaneously jabbing my spotty T-Zone. I’d cry, if that bloody Chesney Hawkes haircut wasn’t so funny.

I had mates though. A posse of friends falling similarly inbetween the rebellious cool kids and the introverted geeky gang. One of those mates fast became a best friend and remains my most steadfast loyal soul sister. She was (is) tall and was the only one strong enough to battle off the girl who waited for me at the bus stop one time to “teach me a lesson” for beating her friend in the cross country race in PE one rainy Tuesday afternoon. I can still remember that gasping humiliation as I staggered onto the bus, having been slapped in the face by a girl twice as tall and twice as scary, in front of a double-decker full of agitated witnesses.

That episode could have made all the difference in my adolescent life. I pleaded with my parents to let me swap schools and join the one my mum taught at afterall. Perhaps the humiliation of having a popular teacher as a parent would be less than the humiliation of not having a strong enough Bristolian accent and a crush on Daman Albarn – deemed a total posho lightweight by many of the girls in my school. My parents listened, talked and persuaded me (after a lengthy chat with the headteacher) to stick with it. I’m glad I did.

By Year 9 I’d found my tribe. And by Year 10 I was confident enough to be proud of my love of lessons. My previously unforgiving classmates had seen me let loose at parties and came to accept me for the academic homework-loving party animal that I was. Plus, I’d grown out that failed Justine haircut and replaced it with a ponytail with two artfully selected strands hanging down each side of my face. Gotta love the 90s.

I remained the original Inbetweener though. Throughout Year 11, 12 and 13 I went to the pub, hung out with my mates and cracked on with school work. Getting A grades was still important to me, but I also loved sneaking into nightclubs with my gang of friends (and older boyfriend who, I’m sure at the time, probably inadvertantly won me cool points). I refused to be lured by the temptation of rebellous drop-outdom but was equally unimpressed by – what I saw at the time – the pretentious show-offery of the academic geek troupe.

I left school with 11 GSCEs and college with 3 A’levels – all A’s. I went to uni. Finally feeling comfortable in my own skin at the age of 18, it was a shock to find the first year of university was very much like my first year of secondary school. I hung around between the edges of various groups. Again, I found my uni “soul sister” (another special mate all these years on), but I found myself with lots of groups of friends like a chameleon who couldn’t decide what colour to pick.

This is still me now. Back then, I thought it might be a bad thing. I had too many groups of friends and wasn’t in the “inner circle” of any of them. I had ex-private school mates, muso mates, stylish girl mates (all work in PR now, natch), tortured soul academic mates and sports club mates. I loved them all and flitted about like a fly on heat between them although, when it came down to it, there were only a handful I felt truly myself with at 3am at the end of a heady night out.

Now I’m 32 years old I find my past has set me up for a lifetime as the original Inbetweener. At school, I get on with all the school mums without obviously slotting into any particular group (although, granted, it’s a small school). Online, I don’t easily fall into one particular bracket of bloggers. And don’t even get me started on work politics – I work from home so at least that’s one bullet I can dodge.

This used to bother me. Right up to a few months ago I felt I needed to have an Instagram tribe, a blogging clique, a #mumboss gang I could easily identify with. I looked for parenting approaches I could easily subscribe to, just to have an obvious “village” to slot into. Alas, like the chameleon I am I picked and chose different bits from each approach. Failed at the parenting village too, it seems.

But recently something clicked. I don’t need a clique, village, tribe. Having friends from all walks of life with all sorts of opinions and backgrounds is a GOOD thing. So what if, at 32, I’m still the original inbetweener? Maybe the Inbetweener IS my tribe.

I always loved that show anyway.

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