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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / Kids / A diagnosis, of sorts

A diagnosis, of sorts

April 4, 2012 by Molly 50 Comments

Hospital waiting rooms - a good source of books

I didn’t sleep last night.

I was too busy tossing and turning in bed, mulling over the various different things that could mean my toddler isn’t toddling. Why is it that things always seem so much worse in the dark?

Today’s hospital appointment – both dreaded and anticipated – wasn’t particularly pleasant. The X-ray which I was hoping to avoid did actually happen. The consultant examined Frog’s gorgeous hips and sent us straight to the room with the “special camera”.

It turns out, as much as Frog loves having her picture taken, she’s not so keen on the “special camera”.

In fact, she rather loathes it. As the light turned on she screamed “HOT HOT HOT” as her father and I pinned her to the bed, desperately singing The Wheels on the Bus in an attempt to stop her escaping the X-ray Monster. Pleasant is not a word I’d use to describe those 5 minutes.

But, once some raisins had been retrieved from the bottom of my bag, and Frog was safely out of sight from the “special camera” our spirits started to lift.

The consultant examined the X-ray and uttered the words I’d been hoping to hear for the last four months: There’s no serious issue with her hips. They’re not dislocated.

I could have cried with relief right there – black mascara running down my face – but I was too busy listening to the next bit.

But there is a problem. She will need treatment.

It turns out Frog is exceptionally gifted in the flexibility stakes. She could put any ballerina or gymnast to shame, apparently. The thing is, Frog’s flexibility is what is causing the mobility issues. In short, she’s too flexible to walk.

An examination from the doctor showed her feet turn almost all the way around, so that she could be facing forwards while her feet face backwards. Not something you need when you’re trying to negotiate the simple act of standing up without holding your mum’s hand.

Frog also has a clicky hip, caused by a dogdy ligament, caused by the flexibility issue. Her knees swivel around like some kind of fancy chair featured on the latest BBC talent show The Voice. Her body is a bit like a pipe cleaner, with no locking system to keep every joint in place, where it needs to be.

So, the bottom line is, although she’s approaching 2 years old, Frog is unlikely to walk any time soon. She needs special shoes with more support around the ankles (although where I get these is anyone’s guess) and she needs lots of physio treatment.

She also needs to go back to see the lovely consultant after her 2nd birthday to double-check there’s nothing more sinister behind her refusal to walk.

There are three months sitting between us and that first physio appointment.

I’m going to use that time wisely, to search for a special pair of shoes and a large supply of patience.

 

Filed Under: Kids, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: development, doctors, flexibility, hopsital, hypermobility in toddlers, joints, late walking, Parenting, walking, x-ray

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Comments

  1. Deborah the Closet Monster says

    April 6, 2012 at 8:18 pm

    Thinking of you and your gorgeous girl, hoping you’ll get through this with mostly smiles. Sometimes when I’m early into something I know is going to try me, I remind myself that it’s something that will someday be just a memory.

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 9, 2012 at 11:43 am

      What a lovely comment, thank you.

      Reply
      • Gina says

        January 24, 2013 at 2:55 pm

        Hi there your story has been reassuring to me, a mum of a 22 month non toddler, hyper mobile too and born with one crocked foot x. I would love to hear how thing are going with frog now, my pickle sounds very similar. We are at the bum shuffle stage now, never tolerated tummy time, won’t crawl, won’t kneel, and irritated as she desperately would like to pull herself up, but isn’t strong enough in the arms to do it from her bum position, as she certainly isn’t going to use her knees. Therefore she would rather scream then do it.

        You have given me hope, no one seems to understand the amount of pressure this condition places on you as a mum and your relationship.

        Your response would be greatly received.

        All the very best for the future,

        Gina x

        Reply
        • Molly says

          January 24, 2013 at 8:05 pm

          Hi Gina, there IS light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve just written an update on my daughter’s progress here which you might be interested in. She’s doing really well now. Stay strong – it does get easier!

          Reply
  2. stephstwogirls says

    April 5, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    Glad to hear it’s something that ‘they’ can help with – although daft you don’t get given all the info you need at diagnosis (familiar story though). good luck with getting the shoes sorted, and I’m sure you’ll treasure every hop (Frog, geddit?! 😉 ) and step she takes over the next few years x

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 9, 2012 at 11:44 am

      Ha, great pun! x

      Reply
  3. Kelly Wiffin says

    April 5, 2012 at 8:43 am

    Lots of hugs x It is so nice having some answers. Bless her x

    Reply
  4. Kelly says

    April 5, 2012 at 7:33 am

    I’m glad you are finally able to understand what is going on, and with that information you can make a plan. Best of luck with it all x

    Reply
  5. sarahmumof3 says

    April 4, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    so pleased that you got some answers and I’m sure now the support.. in both shoes and doctors is going to be there, she’ll come on in leaps and bounds… it may be difficult ahead, but im certain you’ll get through it just fine 😀

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 5, 2012 at 8:32 am

      Ah, thank you Sarah. x

      Reply
  6. Circus Queen says

    April 4, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    I’m glad that you’ve got an answer and that it wasn’t your worst fear. It does sound a difficult road ahead all the same. I echo Squeakymom though. Flexibility gives you great party tricks.

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 5, 2012 at 8:32 am

      Here’s hoping. She can’t do the party tricks until she gets the walking sorted though!

      Reply
  7. janeblackmore says

    April 4, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    still my beautiful frog x

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 5, 2012 at 8:31 am

      Always x

      Reply
  8. Squeakymom says

    April 4, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    An answer is something to work with. And being bendy is great fun, especially when it comes to grossing out boys! (most of my drunken party tricks involve being bendier than average, though as someone said above, it does make high heels tricky)

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 5, 2012 at 8:31 am

      This is true!

      Reply
  9. Kate says

    April 4, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    I bet you are so relieved. I am so glad you got answers and a possible solution.

    Bless her tho. Missy had an X ray at 3 when she broke her arm. She cried because she was in pain but she was older and able to understand she needed to be good to see it through and got stickers for her trouble but every time she moved it, it damned well hurt.

    Hugs to you all.

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 4, 2012 at 8:18 pm

      Thanks Kate. All the messages and lovely tweets have meant so much today. x

      Reply
  10. Mum2BabyInsomniac says

    April 4, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    I’m so pleased you now have some answers and I hope you find some perfect shoes. Hopefully good old Google will throw up some helpful suggestions 🙂 xx

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 4, 2012 at 8:19 pm

      I’ve had so much advice from Twitter, it’s unbelievable!

      Reply
  11. dorkymum says

    April 4, 2012 at 5:49 pm

    Yay for being able to give it a name! Glad you’ve got some helpful info now and can take some concrete steps forward (no pun intended).

    I think it’s prob really good that this has been discovered & can be helped now. I went through a couple of years at uni of incredibly painful knees and random falling over in the street (not just when drunk…) and eventually found out that it was previously undiagnosed hyper mobility. Six months or so of physio got it sorted out with no problems since, so I hope F’s treatment is just as fast and easy.

    Pour yourself a nice wee glass of wine tonight missus, bet it was not an easy day xxx

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 4, 2012 at 8:19 pm

      Hoorah for a glass of wine. Not an easy day at all. Roll on the Easter bank hols! x

      Reply
  12. Nanny Sophie says

    April 4, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    Ahh kisses to the brave little frog! Xxx

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 4, 2012 at 8:20 pm

      Thanks Soph, will pass them on in the morning!

      Reply
  13. super amazing mum says

    April 4, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    Glad you got answers Molly! My friends little boy has the same, wears pietro (?) boots that look exactly like normal shoes but are built up inside. However, her hospital refer her, she doesn’t have to pay for them????

    Love S.A.M xx

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 4, 2012 at 8:20 pm

      This is what I’m hearing. Think I’ll have to make another trip to see GP. Thank you! x

      Reply
  14. multilayermummy says

    April 4, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    at least you now have a plan of action, I do have some experience too with my first child. I also went to the doc’s about my 2nd child @ 18 months and the doc laughed his socks off without even seeing her saying she will walk! Well she did the very next month but I do wonder about these docs not advising sooner. You’ll find patience in abundance, comes with the territory xx

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 4, 2012 at 8:22 pm

      I guess it’s hard for doctors, as they have to distinguish between paranoid parents and the ones where there really is a problem. I can’t help but kick myself, as maybe if I’d been more pushy and she’d have been referred sooner, would have been spotted sooner. Mums can’t win!

      Reply
  15. Hollie Smith says

    April 4, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    Hey Molly, I’m glad you’ve got some answers at last. It’s quite sobering because I tend to be rather flip with my usualy advice that, ‘she/he will walk in his own time so stop worrying’. It goes to show that just sometimes there can be a problem. It sounds like you are all in good hands. H xxx

    Reply
  16. mummymummymum says

    April 4, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    I’m glad you have some answers now Molly, and its not what you were dreading. Hugs xxx

    Reply
  17. emma bradley (@emmaand3) says

    April 4, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    Well, its good news of some sorts. Hypermobility support group will have some information I spoke to them yesterday as it looks like Erin is a bit bendy too. Yes ask for orthotics referral for shoes. Gotta dash but wanted to say something now, will be back later. 🙂

    Reply
  18. scribblingmum says

    April 4, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Glad that there were at least some things that you know now for definite. Bless her little flexible self X

    Reply
  19. Emily O says

    April 4, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Bless her, I guess this is sort of reassuring there’s a reason. You said yourself you could tell she was really trying to walk and wasn’t just lazy with it. At least there’s a course of treatment she can have and with fabulous parents like you she’ll get all the support she needs to get there x

    Reply
  20. Ramblings Of A Suburban Mummy says

    April 4, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    The best thing is that now she will get that help and you can come to terms with the diagnosis. At least they are already talking about a positive plan, that’s a good albeit scary thing.
    What about some kind of walking shoe/boot? We had some Timberland boots for my son at the same sort of age and they were very supportive. Not pretty but very cool.

    Reply
  21. Wendy Hirst says

    April 4, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    The shoes you are looking for are pedro boots you want to go to your doctor and ask for a referral to Othotics where you get the pedro boots from. They do help my oldest son had feet that you could turn the other way 6 months of him wearing pedro boots and special insoles he started walking.
    My 2 year old is disabled and they thought he would never walk, he has just taken his first steps. With a bit of help and letting them do things in their time they get there .

    You just need time now to get your head around the latest news good luck xx

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 4, 2012 at 2:50 pm

      Ah, Pedro boots. Thank you! Off to look them up now. x

      Reply
      • Mumma Bunny says

        April 4, 2012 at 3:14 pm

        They are actually called piedro boots. My eldest son has mild cp and wore them when he was little until he was about seven. He didn’t walk properly until he was just about three. They were given to us on an ‘as & when ‘ basis via the physio. They are actually beautifully made, leather lined inside. Now he’s grown up (22) he still favours trainers/shoes that give him the extra ankle support – especially when he plays American Football 😀

        Reply
  22. ghostwritermummy says

    April 4, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    I’m sure this isn’t the news you wanted but like the others say, now u can start to deal with things better. Big hugs to you all XxX

    Reply
  23. HELEN says

    April 4, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    aww bless her…..and you. At least you know now & I’m sure you will manage to root out the prettiest & best supportive shoes around
    x

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 4, 2012 at 2:45 pm

      Ha – it’s all about the syle!

      Reply
  24. carolinmaderjournalist says

    April 4, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    Glad you’ve got some answers, although I am sure that you will have a whole lot of new questions now. I’ve developed a mild form of hyper-flexibility in my right foot after numerous accidents and I promise you, you can live with it without too many restrictions – it’s just no heels for me 😉

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 4, 2012 at 2:45 pm

      Blimey. No heels? How do you cope in a posh frock?! Seriously though, thank you. It’s good to hear from people with some experience of it.

      Reply
  25. Little Miss says

    April 4, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    I hope everything goes well as you find some perfect shoes for her xx

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 4, 2012 at 2:44 pm

      Me too – she’s a bit obsessed with shoes. I’m sure she’ll be pleased to get some new ones!

      Reply
  26. Kate G (@KateTakes5) says

    April 4, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Aw honey I’m so glad you’ve at least got some answers. Bet there’s a raft of advice online now you know what you’re dealing with. xx

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      April 4, 2012 at 2:44 pm

      Wading through it all now! x

      Reply

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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Dear PE teachers (and everyone), don’t do this 💔
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If you’re a PE teacher and you’re interested in engaging more kids in class then lose the diet culture and body shaming messaging - even if it’s meant in jest. Research shows kids who feel comfortable in their body are more likely to take part in sports, and movement is for ALL bodies, not just the kids with super athletic toned ones. 
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Want more insight and help with this stuff? Sign up to a Body Happy Kids workshop - we’ve got you. Oh, and read Train Happy by @tallyrye in the meantime.
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And parents - if your kids experience this type of messaging in their school setting absolutely challenge it. We’ve got a template letter on the #FreeFromDiets website you can tweak and a downloadable info pack about the workshops you can send to your school if you’d like them to sign up. Just hit the Workshops link in my bio and scroll down towards the bottom of the page.
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Creating a body happy setting can: 
⚡️increase engagement in class 
⚡️increase engagement in movement 
⚡️increase academic attainment 
⚡️increase happiness, confidence and overall wellbeing
⚡️help kids be more likely to engage in health promoting behaviours 
(And that’s just for starters).
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PS. I’m not coming for teachers - my husband is one. BUT research shows weight bias is often more common in PE teachers than other subject areas so this is a conversation worth having. 
#BodyHappyKids
I turn 37 in three weeks. When I was younger I use I turn 37 in three weeks. When I was younger I used to think 37 was old. It was “grown-up”, boring, over-the-hill. 
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By the time you were 37 you had your life figured out, wore sensible clothes and had waved goodbye to the fun stuff. 
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It’s no surprise I thought that really. Women aged 37 and over - particularly mums - were invisible. The only representations of older women on screen were the matriarchs. Ad campaigns and magazines featured young women in their “prime” (side note: 🤮 hate that phrase - what does “prime” even mean? We’re not cuts of meat. “Prime” baby making age? Is making babies all we’re good for?!)
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There was no space for any other version of women over 35. Women over 35 weren’t playful, fun, adventurous, sexual, curious. Women over 35 were Responsible, Sensible, Dutiful.
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Well that’s not what 37 is going to look like for me. Sure I do school runs and meet deadlines and wash smelly socks. But I also play and dance and adventure and enjoy my body. I feel like I’m just getting going to be honest. 
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37 is going to be a big year. I’m excited. I’m ready. And I’m certainly not invisible. Bring it on.
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#BirthdayCountdown #MumsGoneWild
Every year @GirlGuiding publishes something called Every year @GirlGuiding publishes something called the Girls’ Attitudes Survey. It’s a big piece of research into the thoughts and feelings of the girls in their community and gives an insight into some of the things that are important to girls and young women in the UK today. 
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The early findings of the 2020 survey have been released and the headline is (surprise, surprise) girls feel under intense pressure to look a certain way and it’s damaging their confidence and wellbeing. 
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Here are some of the stats:
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⚡️80% of girls and young women have considered changing how they look. 
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⚡️51% of girls aged 7-10 believe women are judged more on what they look like than what they can do (this figure is up from 35% in 2016).
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There’s also the finding that two thirds of girls support legislation to stop them seeing ads for diet products and weight loss clubs. 
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It makes for pretty devastating reading but is worth looking at, particularly if you have a daughter - I’ll link to the early findings in my Stories and the full report will be out next month.
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These girls are telling us not only do they feel this intense pressure to look a certain way, but that it’s causing them pain. They are telling us they don’t want the pressure, the ads, the constant barrage of negativity making them feel insecure about their appearance and their body. It’s costing them their wellbeing, confidence and health. 
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It’s time to listen.
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Sign the #FreeFromDiets petition. Tell your kids’ school about the Body Happy Kids Workshop for teachers. Call out diet culture when you see it (particularly when it comes for your kids). There are more resources in my bio as well as a post on media literacy further down my grid too. It doesn’t have to be this way. 💕✨ #BodyHappyKids
My babies started Year 1 & Year 6 today and as I w My babies started Year 1 & Year 6 today and as I waved them off to school after months of being home, it got me thinking about how my relationship with their first home has changed: my body. ❤️
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I have thin privilege but I’ve still often felt like my body was “wrong”. Why? Because like many of us I live in a society that taught me to fear fatness and idolise thinness from an early age. 
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Internalised fatphobia ran so deep that even after my body performed its most miraculous feat of my life - growing and birthing a human - I feared the softness of my belly.
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I justified the internalised fat phobia by telling myself it was about health, believing that health was a simplified concept I could control and monitor by a number on the scales. 
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And even when I started to suspect diets weren’t healthy I still failed to recognise the total system of oppression that diet culture is, how it harms so very many people including children, how it creates a culture where discriminating against people over their weight is seen as acceptable under the guise of health concern.
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I believe we will never end body-based oppression until we do the internal work too, rejecting diet culture & internalised fat phobia. Then we can challenge the health “facts” we’re sold by a multi billion £ industry, and investigate why we’re so ready to accept government diet culture infused health policy when we’re quick to question other policies.
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It starts with us showing body acceptance to our children, teaching them ALL bodies are good bodies, giving them the tools to question anyone who says otherwise. 
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This is not just about raising children at peace in their body. It’s about raising children who grow to challenge a system that harms us all, but particularly those in marginalised bodies. 
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For me, it started with exploring my feelings about my babies’ first home. ❤️
A little story about periods and intuitive A little story about 🩸periods🩸 and intuitive movement and diet culture - here’s the headline: DIET CULTURE MESSES UP OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR BODY AND THIS HARM RUNS DEEP.
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Let me explain. 
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This was me last week. We hiked up a hill and when we got to the top the sky turned a murky shade of grey. Within seconds we were being pelted by hail and rain. It was GLORIOUS. I felt ALIVE.
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Not so this week. Because this week I got my period. And instead of relaxing into it, being gentle with myself, I battled it. I got frustrated with myself when exhaustion hit and my brain felt soupy. I tried to dig deep to find my spark, my energy, I felt guilt at missing swim sessions I’d booked. 
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Why? Because diet culture runs deep. I examined it and realised I was feeling guilt at what I’d told myself I “should” be doing, rather than what my body *actually* needed. “No one regrets a workout! It’ll pep you up! Energise you!” Said the voice. But my body was bleeding and I was tired to my bones. I didn’t feel like it. And I felt like I was letting some invisible person down. 
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Last night I gave myself permission to be gentle. Cancelled all my swim sessions for a couple of days. Had a bath and put on my comfiest PJs. Turned off my laptop and phone, watched a film and had an early night. It’s what my body needed, and once I actually listened to it I felt so much better. 
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Embracing the seasons of my cycle and going with my natural energy levels is how I’m reclaiming my relationship with my body, I’ve decided. For me, this is the last internal bastion of rebellion against diet culture. And it’s (literally) bloody liberating 🩸⚡️💥
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#BodyHappyMum #JoyfulMovement #DevonIsHeaven #PeriodPower #WeBleed
No child comes fresh out the womb doubting their b No child comes fresh out the womb doubting their body. But, little by little, the messages come.
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Some of the messages may be from what they see online on TV and in magazines. Some of them may even come from the people who love and care for them - their friends, parents, grandparents, teachers and even doctors. Some of the messages are blatant and some are more insidious.
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It’s not hopeless though. Here are some things you can do, right now:
✨ Speak to yourself with kindness or use neutral language about your own body in front of your kids.
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✨Call out the messages when you see them - point them out and talk about what they’re promoting, and show your kids the other perspective. This is called media literacy and I’ve got a post further down my grid with lots more info on this.
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✨ Teach your kids that beauty and health don’t just look one way, and that regardless of the outside shell of our body all humans deserve respect, empathy and love - and that includes self-love. (Some mantras that I use with my kids to help drive this message home - ALL bodies are GOOD bodies 💕 It’s not your job to be pretty 💕 Your body is YOUR OWN.)
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✨ Seek out wider representation, whether that’s through books, social media accounts, positive TV shows and films, it all matters.
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✨ Set clear boundaries - if you have a family member or friend who constantly discusses diets, body shames themselves or makes comments about other people’s bodies (and maybe even your child’s) have a conversation with them about why this isn’t OK. Explain that little ears are always listening and you’re working hard to raise your kids to have a happy, healthy relationship with their body. 
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For more resources on this check out the links in my bio ❤️
#BodyHappyKids
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[📸 My one day old daughter’s foot in my hand, taken in 2010, by @carolinepalmerphoto]
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