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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / Half Term Lessons: Experiences don’t have to be expensive to be magical

Half Term Lessons: Experiences don’t have to be expensive to be magical

October 31, 2017 by Molly 1 Comment

I learned a lesson over half term. Actually, it’s something I knew already but apparently I needed to be reminded. Children don’t need experiences to be big or expensive or hugely flamboyant for them to be magical. A fun memory doesn’t need to cost loads of money for it to become an important one. This might seem like a really obvious fact but it’s one I think I’d lost sight of somewhere along the way – and, to be honest, I don’t think I’m the only one.

Take Christmas, for example. I love Christmas. I’m totally down with having the whole of December dedicated to festive merriment (just don’t put your tree up in November – but that’s another argument). We always try to cram in lots of fun days out and get the obligatory tickets to see Father Christmas, do the outdoor ice-skating etc. But you know the things my seven year old is most excited about this year? Making magic reindeer food at home and going to visit the “kind” Santa at the local garden centre.

This has been a huge relief for me, as someone who simply can’t afford to justify shelling out thousands of pounds on a trip to Lapland – or even Lapland UK. When your Insta-feed is bombarded with photos of families skiing or riding with real-life Huskies throughout December, it can make you feel like a bit of a failure if you’re not giving your own kids these experiences too. And don’t get me wrong, if we ever DID have an experience like that as a family I’m sure my kids would lap it up (no pun intended). But are they missing out by not having them? No, actually, I don’t think they are.

You know the things that are really important to children? They want their parents to be in a good mood, they want to feel loved, secure. They want just a tiny bit of magic and excitement peppered around, to make an experience feel special. I’m definitely guilty of forgetting this at times and focusing on the big experiences. Spending all my money and attention on creating amazing holiday memories or big days out. But Freya’s excitement over the “cheap” Santa at the garden centre and the totally free festive activity just goes to show that sometimes big doesn’t always mean better.

Over half term I put a lot of energy into creating big autumnal moments for my kids. We carved pumpkins, had fancy days out, rushed around squeezing every bit of fun out of the week that we could. We had fun, but by the end of it we were all pretty knackered. Yesterday, on an inset day, I asked both girls what they wanted to do and you know what they said? Go to the library and get a hot chocolate from the cafe.

The simple, small pleasures are just as important for kids as the big ones it seems. And this was welcome news to me, as I’d been feeling a bit guilty that we hadn’t gone away anywhere for the week like half the people on my Facebook and Instagram feed. It’s so easy to put pressure on yourself as a parent and worry that your kids are missing out if you’re not offering them up magical experience after magical experience, but judging from my girls’ excitement at the self-checkout at the library, sometimes all you need is a free book and five minutes doing the bar-code scanner to #liveyourbestlife.

This isn’t a post to have a go at anyone who might have gone away and done some amazing things over half term. I’m all for anyone grabbing experiences out of life and having as much fun as possible. And our summer holidays to France are a real highlight of our year. But if you didn’t manage to get up to much then here’s a little reminder that that’s OK, too. Mornings in pyjamas lounging in front of the TV, a trip to the park leaf-kicking and the occasional trip to the library or out for a hot chocolate can, apparently, be just as big a treat for a child as a day out riding roller-coasters. Who knew?!

 

Filed Under: Kids, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: childhood memories, Family days out, family traditions, Parenting

« Tempting a fussy eating toddler back to food #NoJunkJourney
The best day ever and staying healthy in autumn #nodulldays »

Comments

  1. Jane says

    November 1, 2017 at 11:56 am

    Wise words Mrs xx

    Reply

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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If you feel bad about your body you’re less like If you feel bad about your body you’re less likely to do nice things for it, including moving in a way that feels good and eating in a way that feels good. (FYI health is about more than just exercise and nutrition, but let’s get deeper into the exercise thing for a second...)
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Research shows kids who have low body image are less likely to get involved with sports and more likely to skip PE. 
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Want kids to move more? Stop teaching them that one type of body is better than another - because if their body doesn’t look like your version of a healthy / beautiful / successful body not only will they be more likely to feel shame over their body, they’ll be less likely to engage with the very behaviours you want them to do more of (or be more likely to engage with them in an UNhealthy way - compulsive exercise is dangerous).
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Instead:
💕Try talking about the intrinsic benefits of exercise over the extrinsic ones (ie. how it makes you FEEL instead of how it makes you LOOK).
✨Create opportunities for movement where ALL children feel welcome. 
💕Show children diverse representation so they can see sporting heroes with a range of body types and know that movement is for EVERYbody. 
✨Take a zero tolerance approach to appearance based bullying, body shaming and comments that perpetuate weight stigma (including even the hint that fat = bad). 
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(If you’re a teacher or youth leader interested in knowing more about this topic, a #BodyHappyKids workshop will help - follow the link in my bio 🥰❤️)
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[Image description: A multicoloured slide with an overlaid screenshot of tweet by Molly which reads ‘If your intention is to “get kids healthy” then you need to be aware of how weight bias, weight stigma and poor body image are active barriers to health. The end.]
Sharing this outfit pic with you because it’s a Sharing this outfit pic with you because it’s a crying shame only the piles of laundry got to see it, quite frankly. Finally, a pair of pre-loved jeans bought online that are true to size, consistent with the rest of the brand’s sizing and actually fit! 🎉 
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PS heads up - I’ll be doing a Q&A about body image and kids in my Stories on Friday. The Q sticker is up in my Stories now if you’d like to submit a Q! 💕 #BodyHappyKids
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[Image description: Molly is standing in front of the mirror looking very pleased with the fact her new jeans bought from Depop fit her. She is wearing pink patterned jeans with cherubs on them, a pink check jumper and pink trainers. There are piles of laundry on the bed behind her.]
Another photo of us on a walk, because it’s been Another photo of us on a walk, because it’s been our main form of entertainment this year. Anyone else? 
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I honestly now get excited about putting my boots on and being outdoors, even in the rain. I’m going to start hugging trees next and going on wild camping weekends that involve doing a poo behind a tree and making my own fire. Joke.... maybe. 
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Just another reminder that all movement is valid, exercise doesn’t need to have to be about burning calories or even tracking steps in order for it to be “worth it”. Hope everyone’s had a great weekend ❤️
#BodyHappyMum #JoyfulMovement
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Image description: Molly and her two daughters stand on a bridge in the countryside. They are all wearing hiking boots and outdoor clothes and smiling.
My body is good and excellent and my body only bel My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me ✨ (Words by Effie May, age 6 💕) #BodyHappyMum
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Image description: A close up of Molly’s bare skin as she hugs herself. It’s dark and part of her body is illuminated by light. She has her eyes closed and is smiling.
“Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. “Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. And my heart swelled. Maybe I’m doing an OK job after all 🤞❤️💕 #BodyHappyKids 
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I could leave this caption here but I need to make something clear: if you think it’s great that my daughter - a thin, white, nondisabled, cisgender kid - feels good in her body but you’re not here for the self-love of any kid who doesn’t look like her.... then you’ve missed the point.
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ALL bodies are good bodies, and without this important piece of the puzzle ALL children will be at risk of doubting their body. And what happens when they doubt their body? Well... hating our body doesn’t make us treat it with love, and the same is true of kids. 
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Great, now we’ve cleared that up, can we take a moment to appreciate the incredible phonetic spelling on show here?! 
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Image description: Effie, age 6, stands against a white wardrobe holding up a letter she has written to herself. It is spelled phonetically and reads “My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me.”
I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I ha I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I had any spare cash - not just treats, but basics like pants and tights that fit properly. I’d tell myself I didn’t need it, didn’t deserve it, couldn’t justify the expense. There’s still that little voice (the habit of putting everyone else’s needs first and my own last dies hard it seems) but I’m leaning into exploring why it still sometimes rears its head, instead of always listening to it. 
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I’m trying to buy as much as I can from pre-loved places or small businesses these days, which is why I’m very happy to share with you some of my latest finds: a star dress from Depop (£5), earrings from @kelzojewellery by @ourtransitionallife (£12) and the comfiest tights I’ve ever owned in Raspberry Pie by @snagtights (£6.99) 💕💕💕
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Have you found any great small brands lately? Shout them out in the comments so we can all support in the run up to Christmas. ⬇️⚡️
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Image description: Molly is smiling and sticking out her tongue to the camera. Her hair is freshly dyed a light shade of pink. She’s wearing a pink t’shirt underneath a black and white star patterned slip dress, with bright pink tights and black and pink earrings decorated with a boob design.
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