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You are here: Home / SELF LOVE & BODY IMAGE / Five alternative self-care tips

Five alternative self-care tips

November 13, 2018 by Molly Leave a Comment

Self-care is all the rage at the moment and while I think it’s BRILLIANT that we’re finally seeing the value in nurturing ourselves I also think it’s important that the idea of self-care doesn’t become just another thing on our To Do list. As parents, we have enough to do and enough to feel guilty about without adding anything else to our plate.

Don’t have time for an hour of Yoga or a hot bubble bath? Don’t fret! It doesn’t mean you’ve failed at self-care. In fact, I think one huge aspect of self-care is taking the guilt out of existing altogether. And what better day to celebrate being kind to ourselves than World Kindness Day? Kindness starts with you.

So in the spirit of that kindness here are five alternative self-care tips. Not a bubble bath or yoga session in sight (although, it must be said, those are very nice too…):

1. Say one kind thing when you look in the mirror

I was the best at berating myself when I looked in the mirror, focusing on the parts of my appearance that I didn’t like about myself and then letting those ideas become everything. At low points the way I felt about my reflection often flowed into the way I felt about myself in other areas of my life. I’d see a wobbly tummy and tell myself I was lazy, or I’d see under-eye bags and tell myself I was tired and “past it”. Changing that voice was probably one of the single most important things I did to be kind to myself – worth more than any bubble bath.

2. Ditch the diet

Diets exist to make money. They tell us that we’ll feel better about ourselves and more confident when we lose weight – whatever our start weight is. But studies show that dieting does not give you a more positive body image, in fact it can have the opposite effect (this podcast episode from body image researchers has some excellent information on this).

3. Cut down on social media

There’s a wealth of evidence to show scrolling is not good for our soul. While social media can be a fantastic way to connect with people and ideas and messages, it can also make us vulnerable to good old comparison syndrome. The best way you can protect your mental health and give yourself a bit of love is to go easy on the scrolls, have regular social media blackout days and learn to break-up with your phone every once in a while.

4. Phone a friend

The other problem with social media is that it can make us feel connected when we’re not. There is literally no alternative for some real face-to-face (or phone to face) communication. You know that feeling you get when you chat to a friend you haven’t seen in ages? That little spark of joy that comes from sharing a real time conversation with someone you care about? That feeling is like a warm hug and is worth a thousand likes on an Instagram post.

5. Listen to a podcast

The thing I love about podcasts is that you can listen to them while you do other stuff. Sure, if you’ve got time for a bubble bath then listening to a podcast in the bath is just lovely. But you can also listen to a podcast while cooking tea, doing the school run, walking to work etc etc. And podcasts can expand our ideas, make us think, inspire us and make us laugh in a way not unlike reading a book.

 

Happy World Kindness Day! Now, go and be kind to yourself – love yourself first. x

Filed Under: SELF LOVE & BODY IMAGE Tagged With: being kind to yourself, body acceptance, body confidence, body image, dieting, ditch the diet, self care, self-acceptance, self-love, Social Media, world kindness day

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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If you feel bad about your body you’re less like If you feel bad about your body you’re less likely to do nice things for it, including moving in a way that feels good and eating in a way that feels good. (FYI health is about more than just exercise and nutrition, but let’s get deeper into the exercise thing for a second...)
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Research shows kids who have low body image are less likely to get involved with sports and more likely to skip PE. 
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Want kids to move more? Stop teaching them that one type of body is better than another - because if their body doesn’t look like your version of a healthy / beautiful / successful body not only will they be more likely to feel shame over their body, they’ll be less likely to engage with the very behaviours you want them to do more of (or be more likely to engage with them in an UNhealthy way - compulsive exercise is dangerous).
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Instead:
💕Try talking about the intrinsic benefits of exercise over the extrinsic ones (ie. how it makes you FEEL instead of how it makes you LOOK).
✨Create opportunities for movement where ALL children feel welcome. 
💕Show children diverse representation so they can see sporting heroes with a range of body types and know that movement is for EVERYbody. 
✨Take a zero tolerance approach to appearance based bullying, body shaming and comments that perpetuate weight stigma (including even the hint that fat = bad). 
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(If you’re a teacher or youth leader interested in knowing more about this topic, a #BodyHappyKids workshop will help - follow the link in my bio 🥰❤️)
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[Image description: A multicoloured slide with an overlaid screenshot of tweet by Molly which reads ‘If your intention is to “get kids healthy” then you need to be aware of how weight bias, weight stigma and poor body image are active barriers to health. The end.]
Sharing this outfit pic with you because it’s a Sharing this outfit pic with you because it’s a crying shame only the piles of laundry got to see it, quite frankly. Finally, a pair of pre-loved jeans bought online that are true to size, consistent with the rest of the brand’s sizing and actually fit! 🎉 
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PS heads up - I’ll be doing a Q&A about body image and kids in my Stories on Friday. The Q sticker is up in my Stories now if you’d like to submit a Q! 💕 #BodyHappyKids
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[Image description: Molly is standing in front of the mirror looking very pleased with the fact her new jeans bought from Depop fit her. She is wearing pink patterned jeans with cherubs on them, a pink check jumper and pink trainers. There are piles of laundry on the bed behind her.]
Another photo of us on a walk, because it’s been Another photo of us on a walk, because it’s been our main form of entertainment this year. Anyone else? 
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I honestly now get excited about putting my boots on and being outdoors, even in the rain. I’m going to start hugging trees next and going on wild camping weekends that involve doing a poo behind a tree and making my own fire. Joke.... maybe. 
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Just another reminder that all movement is valid, exercise doesn’t need to have to be about burning calories or even tracking steps in order for it to be “worth it”. Hope everyone’s had a great weekend ❤️
#BodyHappyMum #JoyfulMovement
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Image description: Molly and her two daughters stand on a bridge in the countryside. They are all wearing hiking boots and outdoor clothes and smiling.
My body is good and excellent and my body only bel My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me ✨ (Words by Effie May, age 6 💕) #BodyHappyMum
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Image description: A close up of Molly’s bare skin as she hugs herself. It’s dark and part of her body is illuminated by light. She has her eyes closed and is smiling.
“Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. “Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. And my heart swelled. Maybe I’m doing an OK job after all 🤞❤️💕 #BodyHappyKids 
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I could leave this caption here but I need to make something clear: if you think it’s great that my daughter - a thin, white, nondisabled, cisgender kid - feels good in her body but you’re not here for the self-love of any kid who doesn’t look like her.... then you’ve missed the point.
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ALL bodies are good bodies, and without this important piece of the puzzle ALL children will be at risk of doubting their body. And what happens when they doubt their body? Well... hating our body doesn’t make us treat it with love, and the same is true of kids. 
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Great, now we’ve cleared that up, can we take a moment to appreciate the incredible phonetic spelling on show here?! 
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Image description: Effie, age 6, stands against a white wardrobe holding up a letter she has written to herself. It is spelled phonetically and reads “My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me.”
I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I ha I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I had any spare cash - not just treats, but basics like pants and tights that fit properly. I’d tell myself I didn’t need it, didn’t deserve it, couldn’t justify the expense. There’s still that little voice (the habit of putting everyone else’s needs first and my own last dies hard it seems) but I’m leaning into exploring why it still sometimes rears its head, instead of always listening to it. 
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I’m trying to buy as much as I can from pre-loved places or small businesses these days, which is why I’m very happy to share with you some of my latest finds: a star dress from Depop (£5), earrings from @kelzojewellery by @ourtransitionallife (£12) and the comfiest tights I’ve ever owned in Raspberry Pie by @snagtights (£6.99) 💕💕💕
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Have you found any great small brands lately? Shout them out in the comments so we can all support in the run up to Christmas. ⬇️⚡️
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Image description: Molly is smiling and sticking out her tongue to the camera. Her hair is freshly dyed a light shade of pink. She’s wearing a pink t’shirt underneath a black and white star patterned slip dress, with bright pink tights and black and pink earrings decorated with a boob design.
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