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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / Kids / Laundry and raising daughters

Laundry and raising daughters

March 4, 2016 by Molly 9 Comments

Image credit | Pegs by Casper Rubin casparrubin.ch | Unsplash.com

As a mum of two girls, I’m really aware of raising my daughters to believe their gender should never determine their future roles – either at home or at work. This letter on the gender gap at home, published recently in the annual Bill and Melinda Gates address to the world, really rang true with me.

“I know from listening to my kids and their friends,” writes Melinda, “that most girls don’t think they will be stuck with the same rules that kept their grandmothers in the home. I’m sorry to say this, but if you think that, you’re wrong. Unless things change, girls today will spend hundreds of thousands more hours than boys doing unpaid work simply because society assumes it’s their responsibility.”

I grew up in the 80s and 90s, in a liberal household with two parents who worked full time. Like my girls, I had a sister, and both of us were brought up with an idea that we could achieve anything we wanted if we worked hard. In short, we never once thought that being born a girl would prevent us from following a particular career path (me: a journalist, my sister: a doctor). However, when it came to the domestic drudgery I think it’s pretty fair to say my mum did more of the dull stuff like laundry and ironing than my dad.

Fast-forward to 2016 and now I’m a mum myself raising two daughters. For us, laundry is probably the biggest domestic chore in our house. But unlike my own childhood (sorry Dad if I’m misrepresenting you here!) I’m quite vocal about the laundry being a shared responsibility. That’s why I love that these laundry tips on the Beko website include some expert advice from a dad too. Obviously Beko, like me, see that laundry isn’t automatically the role of the mum just because she’s a woman.

In my case, most of my laundry knowledge comes from my own mum. It’s stuff she taught me when I was little and things I later came to do myself when I was old enough to properly pull my weight at home and help with domestic chores like washing and ironing (I did the family ironing every Sunday from around the age of 14 in order to earn my monthly allowance).

Here’s what my mum taught me:

  1. Separate darks and lights. Always wash whites on their own.
  2. Wash on a low heat whenever possible because it saves energy and is kinder to the environment.
  3. Hang shirts up to dry – they’ll be less crumpled.
  4. And, finally, get your husband to realise that if he wants clean shirts to wear to work the laundry is just as much his responsibility!

For us, the key to making the laundry less of a chore is simply keeping on top of it. For example, whenever we go away we always try to get a couple of loads of washing done before we come home. There’s nothing worse than coming back from a holiday with piles and piles of washing, plus the laundry that hadn’t been done before you left. Ugh.

Our biggest obstacle to keeping on top of the washing, though, is finding somewhere to dry it. We don’t have a tumble drier, so we rely on good weather in the summer and a decent indoor drying rack in the winter. We currently have a ceiling airer installed in our bathroom which has made a huge difference to how quickly stuff dries (plus it frees up valuable floor space).

Much of the putting away of washing and hanging up of washing happens around bath and bedtime, when we’re both upstairs putting the girls to bed. I refuse to do it during the day because it’s now almost impossible to get anything productive done with a toddler around, and when she’s napping I need to work. I don’t have ten minutes spare to hang up washing.

So that’s how we do it in our house. I’d love to know what the deal is in yours.

How do you approach domestic chores in your home? Is laundry everyone’s responsibility or a particular person’s role? And do you have any more laundry tips to make it less of a daily pain?!

 

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Thanks to Beko for working with me on this post. For more information about how I work with brands check out my Work With Me page.

Filed Under: Kids, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: gender equality, motherhood, Parenting

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Comments

  1. Kathryn says

    March 7, 2016 at 6:17 pm

    Greig and I totally share this stuff too. I think it’s really important for my kids (a boy and two girls) to see this as my parents were completely the opposite! x

    Reply
  2. Polly says

    March 6, 2016 at 9:56 pm

    Laundry!! With 6 of us it’s never ending!! I put a load in every night before bed, then it gets hung out/on the airer/in the dryer in the morning. Someone will fold it up later on and put everyone’s piles on their beds! SO it’s totally a shared job in my house!

    Reply
  3. Candy Pop says

    March 6, 2016 at 6:45 am

    We share the task and ‘try’ to keep on top of it. Living in an apartment means there’s nothing worse than having too much damp washing hanging around! Have a lovely Sunday. x

    Reply
  4. Sarah Rooftops says

    March 5, 2016 at 10:06 am

    I was raised with the same beliefs as you so it’s been a bit of an adjustment becoming a stay at home mum. I feel that, if I’m the one in the house most of the time, it’s fair enough that I spend ten minutes a day making it a little cleaner; I also do most of the laundry but have a timetable (Mondays: towels; Tuesdays: baby’s stuff; etc) so it all gets done! My partner does his own laundry, though, along with almost all of the cooking; if I’m doing bedtime, he does the dishes, and vice versa. Although we’ve fallen into habits of me doing certain things and him doing certain things, they don’t necessarily go by traditional gender roles – the DIY is all done by me, for a start!

    Reply
  5. Charlene says

    March 4, 2016 at 8:00 pm

    It’s shared, my husband tends to put the wash on and I tend to hang them out. He doesn’t even know where the iron is but he’s happy to wear crumpled clothes. Growing up my mum and dad shared household tasks equally, actually my mum didn’t do any DIY or driving so Dad probably got a bum deal.

    Reply
  6. Slummy single mummy says

    March 4, 2016 at 2:44 pm

    When my oldest daughter went off to uni a couple of years ago I was absolutely horrified to find out that she was the only one in her flat of eight people who knew how to use a washing machine! Can you believe it?! You’d think it was a basic skill, but perhaps we just aren’t taking the time to teach our children things like this any more.

    Reply
  7. Katie @mummydaddyme says

    March 4, 2016 at 2:39 pm

    I think its great that they include tips from Dads too- we live in a modern society after all. The laundry is the worst job in our house- my husband generally washes it and puts it on the radiator or line and I put it away. I just hate it the most out of all the jobs but unfortunately it has to be done!

    Reply
  8. Pamela | Life With Munchers says

    March 4, 2016 at 8:51 am

    It’s a shared task here! Although hubs 100% does the ironing. I physically can’t stand long enough to do it. We have a dryer though, thankfully! x

    Reply
    • Molly says

      March 4, 2016 at 1:22 pm

      I hate ironing too – rarely do it these days to be honest!

      Reply

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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If you feel bad about your body you’re less like If you feel bad about your body you’re less likely to do nice things for it, including moving in a way that feels good and eating in a way that feels good. (FYI health is about more than just exercise and nutrition, but let’s get deeper into the exercise thing for a second...)
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Research shows kids who have low body image are less likely to get involved with sports and more likely to skip PE. 
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Want kids to move more? Stop teaching them that one type of body is better than another - because if their body doesn’t look like your version of a healthy / beautiful / successful body not only will they be more likely to feel shame over their body, they’ll be less likely to engage with the very behaviours you want them to do more of (or be more likely to engage with them in an UNhealthy way - compulsive exercise is dangerous).
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Instead:
💕Try talking about the intrinsic benefits of exercise over the extrinsic ones (ie. how it makes you FEEL instead of how it makes you LOOK).
✨Create opportunities for movement where ALL children feel welcome. 
💕Show children diverse representation so they can see sporting heroes with a range of body types and know that movement is for EVERYbody. 
✨Take a zero tolerance approach to appearance based bullying, body shaming and comments that perpetuate weight stigma (including even the hint that fat = bad). 
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(If you’re a teacher or youth leader interested in knowing more about this topic, a #BodyHappyKids workshop will help - follow the link in my bio 🥰❤️)
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[Image description: A multicoloured slide with an overlaid screenshot of tweet by Molly which reads ‘If your intention is to “get kids healthy” then you need to be aware of how weight bias, weight stigma and poor body image are active barriers to health. The end.]
Sharing this outfit pic with you because it’s a Sharing this outfit pic with you because it’s a crying shame only the piles of laundry got to see it, quite frankly. Finally, a pair of pre-loved jeans bought online that are true to size, consistent with the rest of the brand’s sizing and actually fit! 🎉 
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PS heads up - I’ll be doing a Q&A about body image and kids in my Stories on Friday. The Q sticker is up in my Stories now if you’d like to submit a Q! 💕 #BodyHappyKids
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[Image description: Molly is standing in front of the mirror looking very pleased with the fact her new jeans bought from Depop fit her. She is wearing pink patterned jeans with cherubs on them, a pink check jumper and pink trainers. There are piles of laundry on the bed behind her.]
Another photo of us on a walk, because it’s been Another photo of us on a walk, because it’s been our main form of entertainment this year. Anyone else? 
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I honestly now get excited about putting my boots on and being outdoors, even in the rain. I’m going to start hugging trees next and going on wild camping weekends that involve doing a poo behind a tree and making my own fire. Joke.... maybe. 
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Just another reminder that all movement is valid, exercise doesn’t need to have to be about burning calories or even tracking steps in order for it to be “worth it”. Hope everyone’s had a great weekend ❤️
#BodyHappyMum #JoyfulMovement
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Image description: Molly and her two daughters stand on a bridge in the countryside. They are all wearing hiking boots and outdoor clothes and smiling.
My body is good and excellent and my body only bel My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me ✨ (Words by Effie May, age 6 💕) #BodyHappyMum
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Image description: A close up of Molly’s bare skin as she hugs herself. It’s dark and part of her body is illuminated by light. She has her eyes closed and is smiling.
“Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. “Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. And my heart swelled. Maybe I’m doing an OK job after all 🤞❤️💕 #BodyHappyKids 
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I could leave this caption here but I need to make something clear: if you think it’s great that my daughter - a thin, white, nondisabled, cisgender kid - feels good in her body but you’re not here for the self-love of any kid who doesn’t look like her.... then you’ve missed the point.
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ALL bodies are good bodies, and without this important piece of the puzzle ALL children will be at risk of doubting their body. And what happens when they doubt their body? Well... hating our body doesn’t make us treat it with love, and the same is true of kids. 
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Great, now we’ve cleared that up, can we take a moment to appreciate the incredible phonetic spelling on show here?! 
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Image description: Effie, age 6, stands against a white wardrobe holding up a letter she has written to herself. It is spelled phonetically and reads “My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me.”
I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I ha I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I had any spare cash - not just treats, but basics like pants and tights that fit properly. I’d tell myself I didn’t need it, didn’t deserve it, couldn’t justify the expense. There’s still that little voice (the habit of putting everyone else’s needs first and my own last dies hard it seems) but I’m leaning into exploring why it still sometimes rears its head, instead of always listening to it. 
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I’m trying to buy as much as I can from pre-loved places or small businesses these days, which is why I’m very happy to share with you some of my latest finds: a star dress from Depop (£5), earrings from @kelzojewellery by @ourtransitionallife (£12) and the comfiest tights I’ve ever owned in Raspberry Pie by @snagtights (£6.99) 💕💕💕
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Have you found any great small brands lately? Shout them out in the comments so we can all support in the run up to Christmas. ⬇️⚡️
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Image description: Molly is smiling and sticking out her tongue to the camera. Her hair is freshly dyed a light shade of pink. She’s wearing a pink t’shirt underneath a black and white star patterned slip dress, with bright pink tights and black and pink earrings decorated with a boob design.
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