Confession: I’m an over-scheduler. I’m my own worst enemy, I know. I see an empty slot in the diary and I fill it. This might not be much of a problem, you’d think, but my rampant over-scheduling the past few weeks has left me frazzled which, in turn, has had an impact on family life. To be honest, family life has been a bit non-existant.
We’re coming to the end of a very busy period. I’ve had work deadlines stacked up, which I’ve been juggling alongside a gazzilion and one other commitments. Weekends booked up with helping out at various charity or community events, hosting friends to stay, playing catch-up with never-ending work deadlines and attempting to do some major home renovations. It’s all a bit too much, really. Especially when you factor in the every day treadmill of busy family life – laundry, school runs, after school clubs, baby groups, cleaning food off the floor (constantly).
Some people thrive on cramming activities into every available moment, squeezing productivity, adventure and social opportunities into every waking second. While I’m all for grabbing life with both hands, I think there’s a balance to be struck that is easily lost if, like me, you’re one of life’s over-schedulers. Saying yes to everything can mean you fail to really savour all those experiences, for example. I know I’m often guilty of losing what’s happening in the moment because I’m too busy looking ahead to the next thing.
My over-scheduling meltdown moment happened last week. After a hectic morning involving mum duties and school runs, followed by a baby swimming lesson, urgent work emails and a last minute trip to the shop before a friend came over for lunch, I realised I’d lost my wallet. I’d been so busy thinking ahead to the next thing on my To Do List that I’d absent-mindedly left it in the trolley at the supermarket. An easy mistake to make, but not something I’d have done if my head hadn’t been so fit to bursting with jobs and I hadn’t been in such a rush.
It took me a full 24 hours to realise my mistake, at which point I ended up crying with relief when I retraced my steps back to the supermarket (baby in tow) to find my wallet had been handed in. I felt so cross with myself, but relieved that I hadn’t absent-mindedly left something more important in the trolley, like the baby.
The week continued to be a busy one – helping out at the school fayre on Friday, running a stall to try and sell some of the baby stuff on Saturday morning, finishing a piece of work on Saturday afternoon, having friends over on Saturday night… Sunday morning arrived like an oasis in a vast over-scheduled desert. Free, empty, with absolutely no plans on the horizon and no one to please but ourselves. We basked in every non-committed second, enjoying a leisurely family walk, a family movie in the afternoon and a quiet home cooked meal. There were no tantrums yesterday. Not one.
It made me realise this is what we need more of. We moved to Devon almost two years ago, for a better quality of life. But there are still so many places right on our doorstep that we’re yet to explore, because we never seem to have enough time.
So Christmas this year is going to be at home. For the first time in six years we’re spending the entire holiday at home with no visits to family or friends and no one coming to stay. We love our family and our friends, but we’re in desperate need of some time cocooned up just the four of us. Days at home with hot chocolate and the log fire burning. Family days out exploring the area we’ve called home for the past two years. Empty days with nothing but the opportunity for impromptu fun and spur of the moment plans.
On Sunday I spent a lovely hour reading stories with Frog and playing. That’s another thing that’s been sorely lacking from downtime recently, because I’ve been so bloody busy. We curled up and read Socks for Santa by Charlotte Gullaine and Lee Wildish, Pop Out and Play Nativity Story by Holly Sterling and The Little Christmas Tree by Rachel Elliot.
After we’d read the books we played with the activities in them. Frog spent ages decorating the Christmas tree at the end of the Little Christmas Tree. I’m a bit of a Christmas purist and hate any mention of Christmas pre-December, but reading these stories and doing the activities in them started to spark those first festive tingles of excitement. It made up for the fact we weren’t putting our real tree up yet – unlike every other person in my Facebook feed.
I’m really looking forward to some more of this, with a better balance of down time and fewer commitments. In fact, I’m so ready for it I’ve decided to make an incredibly eary New Year’s resolution: give up the over-scheduling.
Anyone else with me?
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Thanks to Egmont Publishing for sending us the books mentioned in this post.
There is nothing worse than feeling frazzled from doing too much, my workload is crazy at the moment and I’ve just reached the point where I need to turn things down because I’m getting too stressed. I can’t even remember the feeling of not having anything to do! Your Xmas sounds perfect though, we are going up to my dads and I’m so looking forward to just chilling out for a few days! x
You’re so right – nothing worse! I can’t wait until Christmas now. So excited about some relaxing time at home.
So with you on this, life is ridiculously hectic. I try to make sure Sundays? have nothing scheduled in at all, they’re my downtime!
We always spend Christmas at home, just me, the hubby and kids, it’s nice having some quiet, quality time together x
That sounds like a great plan – I might follow your lead and do free day Sundays next year if I can!
I’m always planning, juggling and cramming and can so relate to this – although I always have the issue of cramming work in and then squeezing a week of family into two days and then there is nothing left for me and I feel frazzled. Definitely a time to plan some fun time for everyone and bunker down for christmas. x
I’m exactly the same. It sometimes feels like an impossible balancing act!
I do this all the time: cram stuff in and then wonder why we’re all knackered. I get quite excited about a totally free weekend but they’re few and far between at this time of year. Am looking forward to a quite Christmas all being well though. P.S. Thanks for reminding me to dig out the advent calendar tonight! xx
I am the same, I must fill all my time and be busy and doing things at every given moment. I don’t like not knowing whats coming up. I need to chill and have a few more quiet house days, but with a tantruming 1 year old and housework piling up I think I’d rather be at a baby group or meeting friends for coffee at softplay… lol
Totally see your point – it’s often easier to get out and about than stay in. I think my problem is that I try to do too much so rarely have days for impromptu trips out. I’m really looking forward to some time over Christmas where we can do family days out and trips, but things that we aren’t already committed to!
I totally get this and we are the same. I was saying in my latest post about how if you pack life, it’s ok, until something happens. A list purse, a poorly child, then you just crumble.
Sometimes my kids just want us to play Lego with them, all afternoon and we should do it.
YES! I know the feeling – one thing goes wrong and the whole house of cards falls down. We’re the same!
I so do this!! But the thing is, I seem to be one extreme or the other: we’re either so busy we can’t take a breath or, well, kind of bored. I’m working on finding the right balance!
I love days where we don’t have any commitments and can just fill them with impromptu plans that morning, or the night before. Those are few and far between at the moment though!