Comments on: Why we should ban the term “Full Time Mum”

By: Josie

Josie — Thu, 10 Oct 2013 10:57:10 +0000

I’m not a fan of labels either. I don’t really like the breastfeeding/baby wearing labels people like to give themselves too. I know it demonstrates your beliefs and interests but it just makes us all more judgmental I think.

Totally with you on the ‘full time mum’ thing. Probably something the vileness that is The Daily Mail made up anyway.

By: Molly

Molly — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 21:36:02 +0000

That’s a really measured and logical way of looking at it. I guess labels are always going to be inadequate to some extent. Thank you for your insightful comment! x

By: Circus Queen

Circus Queen — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 21:16:30 +0000

I do think it’s an inadequate and problematic label but I get why people use it. There’s so much pressure to go back to work that mothers who choose to stay home with their children rather than earn money can be made to feel that they lack ambition or are doing something that isn’t a “proper job” so I guess it’s a rebellion against that. By the same token “attachment parenting” is a rebellion against a popular model of parenting that instructs us to put distance between us and our children as early as possible. It too is inadequate and too open to misunderstanding and abuse but I can see why it exists.

By: Molly

Molly — Tue, 08 Oct 2013 19:18:46 +0000

The thing is, I don’t have a problem with the “SAHD / SAHM” label. Or the “Working Mum / Dad” label. It’s the “Full Time” bit that irks me. As I replied to Merry – it’s the idea that if you are not a “Full Time Mum” you are automatically a “Part Time Mum” which carries connotations and loaded meanings of being “half a mum”. Also, for those parents who do stay at home with their children, the “Full Time” label, disregards the fact their working hours are WAY beyond the regular 40 a week! I work from home and my daughter goes to pre-school in the mornings, but I still consider myself a parent full time – and that’s 24/7, 365 days a year, whether she is at home with me or not. I suppose it’s the idea that being a parent is more than just a role – it’s a part of your identity too I guess. For me, anyway.

By: Molly

Molly — Tue, 08 Oct 2013 19:14:23 +0000

For me, I think the other side of being a “Full Time Mum” suggests you are somehow a “Part Time Mum” which, to many mums I know (working mums / stay at home mums etc etc) is a bit of a hurtful concept. It suggests you are somehow “half” a mum. Also, for those who ARE “Full Time Mums” in the sense that the term is meant, they don’t do the “job” 9-5 Monday to Friday. They don’t get the luxury of clocking off come 6pm or having an hour’s lunch break. I guess that’s why I hate it so much – it doesn’t really serve anyone well!

By: Merry

Merry — Mon, 07 Oct 2013 17:42:26 +0000

I think it is a well intentioned label, to suggest it is a job as well as a role and an event and a ‘all the other bloody things it is’. But you are right, it does seem to fall short.

But then we do have a tendency to do ourselves down – I often say “I’m just a mum” even though that fails to describe me almost totally!

By: The Fool

The Fool — Sun, 06 Oct 2013 21:16:12 +0000

I think I’m going to be the dissenter here; people use full time mum/dad or SAHM/SAHD to mean that aren’t employed in the sense that you get paid for performing a job in a company. It’s not negative or derogatory just a way for people to know who you are.
Doesn’t mean you are good/bad/lazy whatever just that you are a parent full time along with being a whole lot of other things.

By: Cup of tea and chat

Cup of tea and chat — Sat, 05 Oct 2013 08:01:08 +0000

Totally agree ! We are all mums all the time screw the labels !!

By: LearnerMother

LearnerMother — Sat, 05 Oct 2013 07:52:36 +0000

Love the sense you talk. I will never forget when someone I consider to be reasonably intelligent said ‘oh you use a nursery and you don’t even go to work’. Because the work that I was doing at home did not of course count as work. Muppet. Thank you for this post!

By: Mummy Glitzer

Mummy Glitzer — Sat, 05 Oct 2013 07:52:31 +0000

Well said! I wish you could see me applauding right now.

When I first saw that term, I had already had my son and was confused as to what it meant. I figured even if you have shared custody, you are still a full time mum. I had found it offensive that if I decided to, or needed to return to work, people would potentially see me as a part time mum. I dislike labels at the best of times but you are right, this is the worst one!

PS – I too was the proud Take That fan with a secret love of East 17!