Tags
.motherhood, development, Parenting, play, speech, toddlers, words
When is an ambulance not an ambulance? When it’s a “nee-naw bans”. Didn’t you know? Yeah, the word “ambulance” is so last season.
The same goes for “ketchup”. It no longer goes by this name (where did the word “ketchup” come from anyway?!), it’s now known as “chechup”. A subtle alteration, but important just the same.
There are lots of words I thought I knew, having spoken English all my life. But, apparently, I am wrong.
For example, “other” does not exist. No form of the word will now be accepted anywhere in the world. Instead, it has been changed to “blue”. In plain (new) English, this means you do not ask for the “other blanket” or “other book” or “other shoe”. You ask for the “blue blanket” or “blue book” or “blue shoe”. Even if none of the above are blue. These are just the rules – if you question them you get hit in the face.
As a person who earns her living using words, these radical and sudden changes to her mother tongue are confusing and stressful. They’re so stressful, she has started referring to herself in the third person. See? It’s sending her my mind into all sorts of grammatical meltdowns.
Actually, I’ve just realised I’ve made a terrible error. When I referred to “blanket” above, what I actually meant to say was “makkots” (not to be confused with maggots). Yep, the word “blanket” has actually been banned. Sorry about that.
In other important English Language news, you’ll be pleased to hear your favourite song, The Wheels on the Bus, has NOT changed in any way. So if in doubt as to the words you should employ in your every day sentences (given the current delicate and ever-changing word situation), the only thing you can really be sure of is that The Wheels on the Bus still do – as ever – go round and round.
(And yes, that is ketchup on her nose.)
My son is most insistent that the Children in Need bear is not called Pudsey. He gets very cross if you say Pudsey. He has even named his own bear after him, but his name is “Punsey”
In my humble opinion, Punsey is a FAR better name!
She is sooooo sweet. I love toddler mispronunciation. We still call pyjamas ‘japamas’ in this house, a legacy from The Boy’s toddler days. My favourite Babyism at the moment is her word for tractor: ‘ee-i-ee-i-o.’ Makes perfect sense…
Ooh “japamas” is a good one. Very cute.
That is so cute I almost feel like waking the kids up to show them!
She can give you a face to face rendition next time she sees you! x
oh I can relate to this. reading the hungry caterpillar had me in stitches!!
lollipop was know as titti pop and melon was welon. cake was ached and strawberries were streetberries.
the one I could not understand was postman pat translation by my toddler which was chu chu pat and chu chu Sam was fireman Sam.
HA – “Titti pop”?! BRILLIANT!
I love the way they make up words for things! Iyla calls melon ‘mamboo’ and raisins ‘nai-nais’, I have no idea where she got those names from! Love the way Freya got bored of singing and chose to blow raspberries instead! Much more fun! X
Yep, that’s my girl! I way prefer the word “mamboo” to melon by the way. I may start using it myself!
Aw bless, love these. My Mum is looking after The Giggle Monster next week without his translator (aka his sister) and I have considered leaving a translation guide. The most important are: ‘doys’ (juice), ‘edstit’ (breadstick) and ‘up’ (combined with vigorous pointing of the shoes this means ‘I want my shoes off right this second’). It’s a fun age! x
VERY cute. It’s so easy to forget this age I imagine, lovely to have a record of some of their mispronunciations!
I love this – I have a book that I jot down Beth’s toddler-isms in, but some you just can’t put in to words. Some of my favourites are boffee – coffee, bonnen – broken, bibbits – biscuits, wubbies – blueberries and the dreaded point when I ask her why she is sad and she just points at the cat, which usually means he was found on her bed and she wants him out of her room – whooops!