I changed my name recently – getting married can do that to you. The thing is, I keep forgetting.
There’s nothing like being unable to place your own name to make other people think you’re an idiot. It doesn’t help when you forget your address in the same sentence. Bloody forms. Why do they always need your name and address anyway? Stupid passports. You’d have thought a terribly unflattering picture would be enough.
Anyway, when I married the (self-proclaimed) Northern Love Machine I decided not to follow my new husband’s suggestion and call myself Mrs Northern Love Machine. Instead I took his actual name: Weaver.
This is a problem for two reasons. The first is that I harbour secret hopes of one day producing a sister for Frog and “Eva” is one of my favourite names. While the NLM thinks “Eva Weaver” has a certain ring to it, I have to disagree.
The second problem is that I rather like my maiden name. I like the way it gives me an opportunity after a couple of glasses of wine to lie to people about my family’s huge wealth. “Oh ‘Forbes’, yes that’s us. We’ve got the magazine, the castle, everything. We’re stinking rich.” *ahem*
I’ve also grown rather attached to my old name. Molly Forbes is who I am. It’s who I’ve been since the day I was born. Molly Weaver sounds like someone else.
So I’ve decided to keep my old name, sort of. I’ll stay Molly Forbes for work purposes, so the name matches the one on my portfolio of cuttings and demo tapes. But I’ll be Molly Weaver at home. It means I get to have a secret Weaver-related identity. And it also means I get to have the same name as my daughter and husband, without giving up the old one completely.
Is that a cop out though?Am I sitting on the surname fence here? What’s in a name anyway? I’d love to know what you think.
Sarah Mac said:
I changed my surname when I got married but frankly, as my maiden name was Shears, it wasn’t really a hardship.
I did a post on names once (called what’s in a name:) with all the funnies I’d known.
I think my favorite was a girl I worked with Called Carrie who double barreled her FIRST name to Carrie-Ann before marrying her husband to be who’s surname was Hiscock
mothersalwaysright said:
That’s hilarious! I have to read this post…
northernmum said:
I hugely regret giving up my name I still feel like Jane pettit (pronounced pet tit ) and well Mrs blackmore is simply my mother in laws name…..
X
mothersalwaysright said:
Jane Pet Tit? Seriously? Why would anyone give up a name like that? I love it!
nascentnovelist said:
Your name is your brand. As a freelance writer, you want people to find all your stuff under one title. I’d keep it. Now, that being said, the only way I’m giving up my name is if any potential husband happens to be called Killmaster or something equally awesome. And even then, I’d want us both to change our names together. Honestly, how cool would Mr and Mrs Killmaster-Svanevik be?
Seriously, though, for writers, authors and academics, I think it’s important to be brand conscious and remember that your name is your image to the world. It’s not a cop-out to keep it for professional purposes, it’s sensible.
mothersalwaysright said:
You’re very right. It would be really hard to suddenly change my name for work. It’s not just the writing but the radio work which it would affect. And then there’s the website which I’d have to change. And all my email addresses. I’m far too lazy for that…
granny from the north said:
Interestingly I was a Castle before marrying but never had a career then; so Weaver IS my career name and very happy with it. It fits me ….I like it…it is my name…so that’s what matters go with what fits!
XXX
granny from the north said:
… and change it at will!
mothersalwaysright said:
Very true – nothing to say I have to keep the same name forever. Maybe I’ll make the whole jump to becoming a Weaver one day…
lesley said:
Even though I am 7 years divorced and dislike the ex with a passion, I’ve kept his name so the kids don’t think I am ashamed of them! But apart from that, unusually it sounds more like ME than my maiden name, but again,maybe that’s because I share it with my children.
mothersalwaysright said:
That’s a really good point. One of the reasons I took my husband’s name was so that I would have the same name as my daughter. I was sick of being the odd one out in the family!
@mummydaddyme said:
I love my married name but a part of me does miss my maiden name. My mum recently got married again as well and I can’t help but feel like our maiden name is dying out a bit! x
mothersalwaysright said:
I know what you mean. As one of two girls I think it’s a good thing I have cousins to keep the name going. Not that it’s a particularly rare name!
Deborah the Closet Monster said:
I have a handful of friends who have done this, so it seems fairly natural to me!
And “Eva Weaver”? That sounds like something that would show up in one of my graphic novels! Hee.
mothersalwaysright said:
It does have a certain ring to it I suppose…
Ghislaine Forbes said:
Eva Beaver Weaver comes to mind. You could always give your next child your maiden name or make a good one up that goes with Eva. What about Peron?!
mothersalwaysright said:
Are you suggesting I start giving each future grandchild a new surname? Why not just go the whole way and give up on surnames altogether?!
Circus Queen said:
I changed my name but I wasn’t majorly attached to my maiden name: Camps. I like the ring of Adele Jarrett-Kerr – it has more of a writer sound to it. Also, I felt it was early enough in my career not to have a big impact on searchability (c’mon, that’s a word). I honestly do think of myself as a Jarrett-Kerr but the other day I randomly called myself Adele Camps! It must be the baby doing this to me.
mothersalwaysright said:
I hear you lady! I agree Adele Jarrett-Kerr is a pretty cool name. I can totally see it on the cover of a book one day…
Michelle Twin Mum (@michelletwinmum) said:
Given what you do for a living I think you are right to keep your maiden name but like that you took Weaver as the family name. I alwasys feel kids should have the same surname as their parents – yes I am old fashioned.
I have got used to my husbands surname now but that does not mean I like it! Mich x
mothersalwaysright said:
I like it as my family name too. Wonder how long it’ll take to get used to though?! x